The Snowman Wus Shivrring

I have quite a backlog of quotes from the past month:

"Samson ate lots of healthy food and became really strong". -Joshua

"No thank you Caleb, I don't wanna get fat". -Moses, politely declining a snack.

"No, Owen, Santa Claus is just a character. He's not real". -Moses, correcting his big brothers' friend's claim that Santa would come down his chimney. I quickly intervened and assured Owen that Moses was mistaken.

"Look, I drew a bat and a ice cream cone for my parents. Look, Mom, your son drew this for you." -Moses, showing me his artwork.

"Oh, praise God, Joshua! You drew a very nice snowman. That's a very good job!" -Caleb

"Ding ding ding! I made my snowman". -Joshua

"This place is very impressive!" -Joshua, upon arriving at the Christmas Tree farm.

"I had a bad dream about a peanut butter pizza that turned into an animal and started chasing me." -Joshua, in a state of consternation just after waking up.

"Is this soup?" - Joshua, referring to his Thanksgiving school lunch of turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes smothered in gravy.

"I want a baby sister. I have too many brothers." -Moses, wishfully thinking.

"And a very, very, very metal tree." -Caleb and Joshua's interpretation of "And a partridge in a pear tree."

"See the green Christmas trees, growing up the pine. See the green Christmas trees, this one will be mine." -Joshua's seasonally appropriate version of a song they learned in school: "See the yellow pumpkins, growing on the vine. See the yellow pumpkins, this one will be mine."

Of course, this is just a tiny sampling of the billions of things the boys say each day. Moses talks so much when it's just me and him at home during the day that I sometimes want to just tell him to be quiet! Since the twins had language delays and were relatively reticent 2-year-olds, I am not accustomed to all of this talking, and it honestly wears on my introverted self. I've even resorted to begging him to watch movies just so that I can hear myself think.

Upon noticing a dearth of quotes from Caleb in my collection, I initially felt kind of bad for not recording more things he's said. but I actually think it's a reflection of the fact that he generally spends less time gabbing away than his brothers do. Caleb is probably the most introverted one of the bunch, and spends much more time drawing than the other two do. He continues to mass-produce drawings on a daily basis, his current obsessions being gingerbread men being chased by foxes, as well as snowmen assuming different occupational roles, such as a cowboy snowman or a policeman snowman.

Moses has followed Caleb's lead and has actually shown himself to be a pretty decent artist. He has drawn things like faces, horses, and skull-and-crossbones that are surprisingly recognizable, considering they were created by a two-year-old. Moses is also eager to emulate his big brothers' writing skills and has even written the word "MIMI" although I don't think he knew what he was writing. His favorite letters to write are "H", "I", "M", "O" and "E". He doesn't seem interested in writing his name, but I guess I can't blame him since those "S"s are pretty daunting. He also insists that his name is spelled "M-O-E-S". Moses has a stubborn streak and trying to convince him that he's wrong is usually a futile effort.

Unfortunately, Moses also seems to think it's his job to correct his friends and tell them they're doing everything the wrong way. After living in the shadows of two older brothers for his entire life, I guess he's realized that preschool is his long-awaited opportunity to be the boss, even though he's actually one of the youngest kids in his class. Even though I have been horrified to witness this behavior on more than one occasion at school and at play dates, the other children thankfully don't seem to mind Moses' bossy nature, and he is never at a loss for friends who want to play with him.

Unlike his bossy little brother, Joshua is most focused on discussing the virtues of kindness and striving to be a "model student." We've been amused to witness the inclusion of phrases such as "that was so kind of you" and "I am very impressed" into his everyday speech. And Joshua not only talks the talk, but he also (usually) walks the walk. It is no wonder that his classmate Hanna told him today that she is going to marry him! Joshua is also becoming a more confident reader and writer. The other day when I was volunteering in his classroom, he wrote the following narrative: "The snowman wus shivrring. He wus so so cod." Translation: "The snowman was shivering. He was so, so cold." It's cute to see that Joshua writes the same way he talks. I was also pleased to see that he finished his assignment early and had plenty of time for free play afterwards. During the first couple months of school, when the children's task had been to write a letter of the alphabet several dozen times and then color, cut, and glue a worksheet pertaining to that letter, Joshua would drag it out and barely finish the assignment in time to head to lunch. Clearly, he is much more motivated to do creative work, and understandably so.

The boys are very excited about the impending arrival of Christmas in a few days. Ever since we put up our Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving, Joshua has regularly proclaimed, "this will be the best Christmas ever!" Even though we've reminded the boys over and over again that Santa Claus is just a character, they still seem to partially believe that he really will come down our chimney and bring them presents. This doesn't bother me, it's actually kind of endearing, and at least they'll never be able to claim that we lied to them. Trying to keep Christ in Christmas has been more of a challenge this year than in years past, since the twins' public school Kindergarten curriculum would lead one to believe that gingerbread houses and gingerbread men are the centerpiece of what should be a celebration of our Savior's birth. I suppose it could be worse; at least the boys have come home with Christmas tree crafts and a lesson about the Dutch tradition of leaving shoes out for Saint Nicholas to fill. And this past weekend, all three boys bravely stood in front of the congregation and sang about Baby Jesus in our church's newly-formed children's choir: "What did the donkey at the manger say, to Baby Jesus in the hay? Hee haw, hee haw, Baby Jesus we love you."

Happy 6th Birthday, Caleb and Joshua!

The twins are 6! On their birthday, they took Rice Krispies treats to school to share with their classmates, then that evening we had spaghetti and cake at Mimi and Papa's house, and the boys (including Moses) each got a rifle gun that they'd had their eyes on since they first noticed them at the Mount Vernon gift shop this past summer. Then on Saturday we threw the boys a pirate party with a dozen of their friends. Joe even dressed up like a pirate: he grew out his beard, wore a pirate wig that we found at the Variety Store, and stuck a toy machete in a colorful sash that he tied around his waist. Several of the boys' moms, including our friend Leah who has known Joe for several years now, thought that we had hired a "real" pirate! All of the boys had a blast digging for "treasure" in the turtle sandbox, "walking the plank", jumping on the trampoline, eating pizza, and play fighting with the boys' toy guns and swords.

Now that the boys are 6 years old, they are making progress along the road to self-sufficiency. They are finally wiping their own butts, although they still refuse to go #2 at school. In fact, a few weeks ago I got a call from the school nurse because Joshua was in the clinic, doubled over in stomach pain, refusing to use the bathroom. Before I could get to the school, the nurse called back to say that he finally went to the bathroom and was feeling better. Joshua, however, maintains that he never did poop at school, but that his tummy felt better because Jesus healed him.

In other areas of self-sufficiency, the boys can climb up on the counter, get a glass from the cupboard, and pour themselves a glass of milk or water. Heck, even 2-year-old Moses has started doing this. Caleb will often pour me a tall glass of water and bring it to me, unprompted, while I'm sitting at the computer or folding laundry. He is very sweet. He also likes to draw pictures and give them to us as gifts. Joshua is a sweet boy, too. He's always showing us affection and telling us things like, "I just love giving you hugs and kisses!"

I met with the twins' teachers for their first elementary school parent-teacher conferences last week, too. Both boys did very well on their first standardized test that is issued to all Kindergarteners in the state of Virginia. They both passed the Spring benchmark, which means that they already have all the skills and knowledge that they're expected to have before they finish Kindergarten. Granted, they attend one of the more competitive schools in one of the best public school systems in the nation, so I'm sure that most of their classmates did just as well if not better, and the teachers have accelerated the curriculum accordingly. If I remember correctly, Joshua scored a 182, Caleb scored a 178, and the Spring benchmark is 177.

Caleb actually could have scored higher, but he didn't give a single correct answer in the rhyming section. I could have sworn that he's known how to rhyme for a while now, so when I got home from the conference, I asked him to tell me something that rhymes, and of course he immediately rattled off a long list rhyming words. I suspect that Caleb simply did not understand what was being asked of him during this particular section of the test. After all, one of the items that was originally on his IEP was difficulty with "receptive language," or understanding what is being spoken to you. I will need to follow up with his teacher and make sure that she is aware of this. I really think that he has a very good teacher, but in a class full of 25 energetic kids, I can see how it would be very easy for a detail like that to slip through the cracks. Joshua's class is smaller with only 20 kids, and they have the added benefit of having a special ed teacher in the classroom for much of the day. So in addition to having fewer classroom distractions, Joshua gets a lot more one-on-one time than Caleb does. I am confident that Caleb will thrive nevertheless. His teacher said he is such a sweet, good boy and that he is trying very hard. Joshua's teacher told me that he is very sweet and kind, and his special ed teacher said that she thinks he's actually very smart. As a mom, you can't ask for better reports than those!

And now for a few quotes:

Joshua: "I guess I am the onliest boy who is listening and putting on my shoes!"

Moses: "Daddy! Mommy is not paying attention to me!"

Me: "Caleb, get your backpack!"
(Caleb completely ignores me and keeps walking while Moses puts on Caleb's backpack.)
Me: "Moses, thank you for bringing Caleb's backpack inside."
Moses: "Yes, because Caleb is not paying attention."

Moses, observing 2 egg yolks in a mixing bowl: "It's like a butt!"

McMoses' Healthy Halloween

Moses has developed a strange habit of substituting the first syllable of certain words with "Mc". For example, he consistently makes the following adjustments:

McPuter = Computer
McTar = Guitar
McBrella = Umbrella

I'm pretty sure that he knows the correct pronunciations, but he still insists on saying things this way. Maybe it's his Irish heritage manifesting itself... and the only apparent manifestation of it, at that!

In other news, the boys are very excited about Halloween and going trick-or-treating tonight. The twins have been learning a lot of Halloween songs in music class at school, which they in turn teach to Moses. The other day I heard Moses singing his own rendition of a classic. I think I like his version better:

"Trick or treat, trick or treat, give me something good for me."

That's my boy!

Imaginative Moses

Moses has quite an active imagination, and it has blossomed all the more now that his big brothers are away at school all day. Whereas he previously relied heavily on his brothers for entertainment, he is now content to play with animal figurines, blocks, cars, and Legos all by himself for extended periods of time, quietly creating dialogues and singing to himself as he plays. Since the twins always had each other to play with, I suppose they were never required to plumb the depths of their imaginations to the same degree that Moses has. That's not to say they were completely unimaginative, it's just that they almost always collaborated with each other, such as when they used to pretend to be a mother monkey and a baby monkey. Moses also enjoys pretending to be different animals, such as the other day when he walked into the kitchen wearing gloves on his feet, and when I asked him why, he told me, "I am an ostrich and I have ostrich feet."

One way that Moses' imagination is manifesting itself is through telling lies, and convincing ones, at that. A couple weeks ago as we were getting ready to sit down to eat dinner, I noticed that Moses had taken off his jacket, so I asked him why. He replied, "Daddy told me to take my jacket off so that I won't spill macaroni on it." While it seemed like a somewhat reasonable explanation, I was mildly perturbed to hear that Joe had told him to remove layers considering how cold it was inside the house. And besides, macaroni and cheese wasn't much of a stain threat to his navy blue jacket. Baffled by Joe's logic, I asked him if he'd indeed told Moses to take his jacket off so that he wouldn't spill macaroni and cheese on it. And what do you know, he hadn't.

Moses also claims to have vivid dreams every night about horses racing. He tells us that he dreams about thoroughbreds, Asian wild horses, the white horse of the sea, and fallabellas. Speaking of dreaming, the other day while Moses and I were surveying the pumpkins on our front steps, he provided me with the following analysis. Pointing to the three large pumpkins, he said, "That's the mommy pumpkin, and the daddy pumpkin is a little bigger. And here's Moses. He's a big boy pumpkin." Then, pointing to a couple of the smaller pumpkins, he said, "And here's his brothers. They are babies." So much for being the humblest man on the face of the Earth!

Prolific Caleb

Caleb has blossomed into a prolific artist. The first thing he does when he wakes up in the morning is make a beeline to the dining room table, not to eat breakfast, but to commence a drawing of whatever happens to be his subject of choice for the week. Likewise, the first thing he does when he comes home from school on most days is situate himself at the table with a piece of paper and a bucket of markers. You would think he'd be tired of sitting and drawing after being at school all day, but apparently not. Joshua, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with sitting and drawing during after-school hours. He would rather run around the house for a while before settling into the couch with his latest library book.

I first noticed Caleb's trend toward the end of the summer when he became obsessed with drawing David and Goliath: pages upon pages of pictures of David with his sling facing off with Goliath with his sword. Some time later, he started drawing cars: lots of cars, complete with details such as headlights and spirals of exhaust spewing out the back. From there, he progressed on to pumpkins: jack-o-lanterns with varying shaped eyes, noses, and mouths. Next came pirate ships, influenced by our voyage on a pirate ship in Baltimore. And Caleb's most recent subject matter has been the owl, his school's mascot. Specifically, he draws an owl slightly hovering above the branch of a tree, almost always slightly tilting to the left, with a crescent moon in the upper right corner and a black night sky in the background.

It's fascinating how consistent Caleb is, with only slight variations in each piece from each series, not much unlike how a real artist operates. Indeed, of the many printmaking works I created in college, there are quite a few series of a common image with only slight variations among the members of each set. Caleb demonstrates the perfectionist tendencies of an artist, too. If he accidentally colors outside one of the lines he draws, he launches into a fit of consternation, dramatically discarding the ruined piece aside and starting over on a clean slate.

A few quotes:

"Caleb, it's not good to talk to your friends like that. Only Mommy can talk like that." - Joshua

"Oh, come on Caleb, don't be sad. Let's get busy. I like to play trains with you." - Joshua

"He is really evil and not a good student and is absolutely bad." -Joshua, commenting on someone's scary Halloween decoration.

Woman, talking to the twins: "How old are you?"
Caleb and Joshua: *no response*
Moses: "They are 5 and I am 2."

"I love green, and brown is my favorite color, too, because I am brown." - Moses

"Those two squirrels are friends, like me and Desmond." -Moses, while watching two squirrels chase and play with each other

"Look, mom, it's a silent color." -Moses, while applying very light pressure to the crayon while drawing.

Twin in the Mirror

This afternoon I took Caleb and Moses to Target while Joshua went to a play date at his classmate Owen's house. Caleb was upset that he didn't have a play date to attend, and decided that retail therapy would be the best cure for his blues. While walking through the shoe department, Caleb did a double-take as he strode past a full-length mirror. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Oh, I thought that I saw Joshua but it was just me," he replied, smiling sheepishly. Only an identical twin could have that sort of problem!

It was also touching because I could tell that Caleb genuinely missed his twin. Their teachers have told me, and I've seen for myself while volunteering in the cafeteria at lunchtime, that they will call out to each other and wave happily whenever they see each other during the school day. I suppose that having them in separate classrooms is best for the development of their own individual identities, but sometimes it breaks my heart when I realize how much they cherish their unique bond.

Moses, on the other hand, announced to me this afternoon that he did not miss his brothers at all today. Every other day since Kindergarten started, Moses has asked me, "Where are my brothers?" or "I miss my brothers. Shall we go get them now?" I guess today I somehow managed to keep him well-enough distracted with preschool and errands. It's not an easy job, though, and I'm beginning to realize the significant role that the twins had in raising their baby brother these first two and a half years of his life. I've got to give them their fair share of credit for how well Moses has turned out!

The Kindergarten Conundrum

September was a month of new beginnings, with the twins starting Kindergarten and Moses starting preschool. I am thankful to report that all three boys are thoroughly enjoying school. When the county decided to close schools on the fourth day of school on account of inclement weather, the boys were disappointed. The following Friday, when I told the boys that they wouldn't have to go to school for the next two days, Joshua exclaimed, "Oh no, but I'll miss school!" When I went to pick up Moses after his second day of preschool, he scowled at me and told me to go away. I suppose his classmates provide him with greater entertainment value than I do.

That said, I don't think I've been this exhausted since I had a newborn. Escorting three kids to and from two different schools, packing nutritious lunches, entertaining Moses in the absence of his brothers, and volunteering in three different classrooms have all proved to be quite exhausting. Meanwhile, multiple home improvement tasks are looming over our heads, dinner needs to be cooked and cleaned up after, the boys manage to make just as much mess in the few hours they're home in the evening as they did when they were home all day long (such as when they decided to paint their pumpkins with black paint yesterday), Joe has been working ridiculously long hours, and the bunnies keep pooping and trying to escape their porch prison. Every afternoon at around two clock, there is nothing I'd rather do than take a nap, but my non-napping 2-year-old always has other plans for me, such as pretending to be the bad guy that he repeatedly strikes down with a sword, or helping him build a barn for his horse. And to think that I had people asking me what I would do with all of my free time now that the twins would be in school all day!

Anyway, here are some things we've been hearing lately...

"Good eye, Mom. Good eye." -Joshua's trademark way of saying "Good idea, Mom. Good idea."

"Normally my mother pushes me four times." -Moses, letting his preschool teacher know that he was not satisfied with a mere three pushes on the swing.

"My butt swallowed the poop so that you wouldn't have to smell it." -Joshua, explaining why he didn't finish his business in the same bathroom in which I was taking a shower.

"Look, I'm a bunny." -Joshua, showing me the big fluffy wad of toilet paper stuck in his butt.

Me: "Don't go out in the front yard all by yourself. It's getting dark outside and you never know when there might be bad guys around."
Joshua: "Don't worry, Mom, I'll take my gun."
Me: "But your gun isn't real."
Joshua: "I know that bullets won't come out, but the bad guys will still see my gun and be afraid."

"Let's make a jack-o-lantern with triangle eyes, a square nose, and a banana mouth." - Caleb

Joe: "This horse is a Selle Francais."
Moses: "No! That's a thoroughbred!"
Joe: "No, it says it's a Selle Francais."
Moses, crying: "NO! THOROUGHBRED!"
Me: "I told him it was a thoroughbred because I didn't know how to pronounce Selle Francais."
Joe: "Ok, you're right, Moses, it's a thoroughbred."

Moses: "Let's pray."
Me: "But we already prayed. We can go ahead and eat."
Moses: "No, we need to pray again!"
Me: "Why?"
Moses: "My food is still too hot!"

"Daddy, first you need to move the snowman mug, and then you can get your cup out." -Moses, directing Joe on the best way to take a particular cup out of the cupboard.

"Mommy, I just washing my hands because I touched the bunnies. I washing Thomas, too. He is so clean now, shall you feel him?" -Moses

Photos and Weapons in Heaven

The following conversation took place today at breakfast:

Caleb: "When we get to Heaven, I will stand next to Caleb and Mommy will take a picture of me, ok, Mommy?"
Moses: "And I will stand next to Aaron!"
Me: "But remember, I won't have my camera because we can't take stuff with us to Heaven. We can only take our souls."
Joshua, excitedly: "Our swords?!"
Me: "No, you know... Our spirits."
Joshua, even more excited: "Our spears?!"

Shall

These days, Moses prefaces most of his suggestions and requests with "shall." I'm not sure where he picked it up, but it's kind of endearing. Here are a few examples:

Moses: "Mommy, shall you get some unna-wears for me? I naked."
Me: "OK, I'll get you some underwear."
Moses: "But no pantses. Only unna-wears, ok?"

Moses: "Mommy, shall I have some honey on my bread?"
Me: "No, you already have jam. You don't need honey, too."
Moses: "But jam is not my best friend. I need some honey, ok?"

Moses: "Are those birds bad guys?"
Me: "I guess so."
Moses: "Shall we shoot them?"

Wary Wipers

We have been having the hardest time trying to convince the twins to wipe their own butts after they poop. With Kindergarten starting in less than a week, I am seriously concerned about their refusal to perform this simple task of personal hygiene. Moses, on the other hand, has attempted to wipe his own butt after pooping ever since I started harping on the twins, and after a failed first attempt that ended with a mound of non-flushable wipes in the toilet, he was actually semi-successful during yesterday's attempt. I admire Moses' willingness to at least try it, unlike his older brothers who are often so averse to trying new things, especially those that require them to become more self sufficient. They argue that they simply will never poop at Kindergarten, but I don't think they understand that they'll be at school, away from their butt-wiper of choice, for seven hours a day. Sometimes I feel like we're potty training all over again.

Unrelated but recently overheard:

Joshua, while putting together the United States puzzle: "Moses! You're messing up the 'Nited States. Why? WHY?"
Me: *Giggle*
Joshua, angrily: "Mommy! What's so funny?!"

Moses: "Mommy! Look at the geese!"
Me: "Where? That's not a goose. That's a pigeon."
Moses: "No! It's a GEESE!"
Me: "No, it's a pigeon. Come on, we need to go."
Moses, in a fit of rage: "NOOOO!"
Me: "Ok, it's a geese. Now let's just go."
Moses, calmly: "That's right. It's a geese. You only call it a geese, okay?"

Moses is 2.5 and Blueberry Escapes

Moses turned 2 and a half years old a few days ago while we were on vacation at the lake. When we asked him what he wanted for his half-birthday, he told us he wanted a candle and to have everyone sing to him. Since the actual celebration took place when we got home on my half birthday, Moses insisted that we light the candle for Mommy and have everyone sing to me, too. Caleb and Joshua hated this sort of attention when they were about Moses' age. I still remember Caleb running out of the room in terror when we started singing to him on his 3rd birthday. It's really funny to see how different these kids are.

Yesterday our big 2.5-year-old decided that he was going to start peeing in the potty without anyone's help. Moses took off his pants and underwear, lifted the toilet seat, peed, flushed, and washed his hands all by himself, not telling me what he'd done until after the fact. In effect, he is even more independent than his big brothers, who still insist that the bathrooms in our house are "scary" and always want to be escorted when doing their business. The only thing Moses needed help with was putting his underwear and shorts back on, but considering how much he likes being naked, he probably had little motivation to do so.

While on this topic, I might as well mention that Caleb is finally staying dry through the night. He went about 2-3 weeks without peeing in his Underjams, waking up to pee in the middle of the night a couple times. So he's been wearing underwear to bed ever since we got home from the lake, finally joining his twin brother who's been night-trained for well over a year now. As for Moses, even though he was waking to pee for a while, I decided to just put him in a diaper at bedtime so that I could get a good night's sleep. Hopefully he'll be able to re-learn to wake up when he has to pee when he's a little older and his bladder is a little bigger.

In other news, it looks like we've got an escape artist on our hands. Joe woke me up this morning to tell me that Blueberry, the white bunny, was outside on the sidewalk in front of our house! I decided to move the bunnies out onto the deck last night to put an end to the havoc they were wreaking on the porch. The astro turf carpet (which was honestly kind of gross to begin with) is now stained beyond repair, and in the past week or so, the bunnies have started gnawing away at the wood beams supporting the porch, as well as the door frames. Anyway, Blueberry must have jumped off the deck onto the ground, at least 8 or 9 feet below. He seems fine, and I am honestly amazed that he survived such a long fall. He started thumping angrily when I caught him and put him back on the porch. Thankfully, Cocoa had enough sense to stay on the porch, especially since it would have been much more difficult to spot a brown rabbit in the wild than a white one. While I'm tempted to lock them in the cage at night from now on for their own safety, part of me thinks that we should let the bunnies abide by the New Hampshire state motto, "live free or die".

Little Soliders

Overheard in our house over the past few days:

Me: "Look, Moses. The banana turns brown when you put it in the refrigerator."
Moses: "Like I turned brown!"

All three boys in unison: "Oh, I love Joseph of Arimathea!"

Joshua: "Oh, I love Jesus! I really just do love Jesus! He is my favorite man."

Moses: "I'm going to ride a horse and kill Indians with my sword. George Washington did that. He was a very, very good man."

That last quote was inspired by a recent visit to Mount Vernon with Mimi and Papa which included a movie that featured George Washington fighting in the French and Indian War. Mimi tried to shield Moses' eyes during the more graphic battle scenes, but he persistently evaded her and was completely entranced by the images of war, as were Caleb and Joshua. Ever since Joe came home with "hard swords" from the Variety Store, the boys have been proudly walking around with swords and sheaths stuck down their underwear or secured in makeshift belts made with Daddy's old neckties. They all like to sing the song, "I'm in the Lord's army, yes sir!" and Joshua has declared that he is going to be a solider when he grows up. Today when we were driving around Fort Belvoir he excitedly pointed out all the soldiers he saw walking around in uniform. His loud voice certainly would make him a pretty good drill sergeant!

Twins' First Trip to the Dentist

The twins had their first visit to the dentist last month. They were perfect angels and the dentist marveled at how cooperative they were while having their teeth examined and cleaned. He said they were the most laid-back kids he's ever worked on. When we went to have their cavities drilled and filled a couple weeks later, the dentist didn't need to use any anesthesia because the boys remained perfectly still the entire time, especially Caleb. I think the dentist was a little irritated that Joshua kept demanding, "Make it smoother! Make it smoother!" when he was polishing the filling, and said that he thought Joshua was destined to be a lawyer. I guess we can just add that the list of Joshua's career possibilities.

Ironically, one of the reasons I waited so long to take the twins to the dentist was because I imagined it'd be a total nightmare complete with screaming and handcuffs. I do think that their first visit to the dentist wouldn't have panned out nearly as well if I'd tried taking them when they were younger. Now that their receptive language skills have drastically improved, I was able to talk to them about the dentist ahead of time and make it sound like a wonderfully fun and exciting place, which they certainly thought it was.

The twins seemed to realize that their hygienists were a captive audience and didn't hesitate to talk up a storm before and after having their cavities filled. From the waiting room, I could hear them talking about Noah's Ark, Jesus, The Three Stooges, and a whole host of other topics. Afterwards, Caleb's hygienist asked me how old the twins are and was surprised when I told her that they are only five. She said she thought Caleb talked really well for a 5-year-old and couldn't believe it when I told her that they both had to attend a special ed preschool for speech and language. I guess they have made a lot of progress in the past couple years!

French Fry Beaver House & Becoming a Man on Sunday

Joe: "See you later, Joshua, I have to go to work now."
Joshua: "On Sunday I will become a man and then I will go to work."

Moses, handing me the artificially blue popsicle that he was so sure he would enjoy: "It's nasty."

Moses: "Mommy, stop. That's enough talking on the iPhone!"

Joshua: "When Moses gets a little older, then he will flap his hands."
Me: "No, Moses doesn't flap his hands, but you've been flapping since you were a baby."
Moses: "No! After I become a big kid, then I can flap my hands."

Me: "Good morning, Moses!"
Moses: "What are my brothers doing?"
(He is really going to miss them when they start school next month...)

Caleb and Joshua, singing to the tune of "Jesus Loves Me": "Yes, Cocoa loves me, yes Cocoa loves me..."

Moses, referring to a pile of french fries: "It's like a beaver's house. It's like sticks."

Moses: "I don't want a hot dog. I want carrots and hummus."

Caleb: "You can pray to God and and Caleb and Joshua..."
Joshua: "No! You can only pray to God."

Beautiful Kindergarten

I finally got around to registering Caleb and Joshua for Kindergarten this morning. The twins were apprehensive upon arrival, but began to warm up when they saw the big owl mural in the hallway and the portrait of George Washington in the office.

While we were in the office getting paperwork sorted out, Moses kept pointing to a sign in the hallway featuring the various sponsors of "Invention Camp" which was being held at the school. I didn't know what Moses was getting so excited about until we were on our way out of the building and he ran up to the sign, pointed to it, and said, "See, it's like at Daddy's work!" Sure enough, it was a black and white version of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office logo! I was pretty impressed that Moses recognized it.

On our way out to the car, I asked Joshua, "See, isn't kindergarten a nice place?" to which he replied, "Yes, I know it is beautiful, but I still don't like it." Hopefully he will change his mind once school starts next month. Meanwhile, the following conversation makes me think that Moses might enjoy a reprieve from his brothers' constant company (although in reality I know he is going to miss them terribly):

Moses: "How 'bout you stay here and I go upstairs and find my brothers."
Me: "What are you going to do when you find your brothers?"
Moses: "Scare them and hit them."

Introducing Cocoa and Blueberry

A couple weeks ago, a teacher at the boys' preschool emailed me and asked if we'd be interested in adopting a bunny. Every Summer, Tauxemont brings in several baby bunnies, kittens, and other animals for its camp program, then needs to find homes for them after camp is over. I agreed to come check them out, and by the time we got there, a white "lion head" and a brown "mini rex", both 3 months old, were still available.

Brownie perfectly fit my mental image of what a proper cute bunny should look like, while Frankie struck me as an unkempt anomaly with his wild white mane. It didn't help that I've never really cared for white rabbits. Mrs. Matthews told me that Frankie was more sociable since the campers requested to hold him more often than the other animals, and that he was further along towards being litter box trained. Two points for white. A few of the campers informed me that Brownie bites. Minus one point for brown. So despite love-at-first-sight with the brown bunny, and Moses' insistence that we "get a brown bunny because I am brown", I decided that the white bunny would be the more prudent choice. I committed to picking Frankie up when we got back from our weekend out of town.

When we went to take delivery of our new bunny, we found out that Brownie was still in need of a home. Once again, I found myself torn between the funny-looking white bunny and the beautiful brown one. Mrs. Matthews sensed my indecision and told me that we'd be welcome to take them both home for a trial run and then decide which one we'd like to keep. Perfect! We loaded them up in Pinky's old cage and took them home. Mrs. Bradley remarked that she'd never seen Caleb, Joshua, and Moses so happy to be leaving Tauxemont.

Once home, it became difficult to imagine giving up either of the bunnies. They snuggled each other, groomed each other, and the boys were simply ecstatic to play with them both. Being the indecisive person I am, I decided to poll my Facebook friends to see which one they thought we should keep, and almost everyone who weighed in cast their vote for the white bunny. But by this point, the thought of sending away the brown bunny was unfathomable. There were smiles all around when Daddy gave his consent to keep them both.

The first order of business was to decide on new names for our new bunnies. For the longest time, Caleb had been set on naming our next pet "Cranberry." You might recall that he had wanted to re-name Pinky, "Cranberry," but it never launched. More recently he'd told me he wanted a dog named Cranberry. So of course, he suggested we name one of the rabbits "Cranberry," which actually would have been rather appropriate for the white bunny if it had had the misfortune of being born with red eyes. But since good genetics had blessed him with blue eyes, I suggested that we name him "Blueberry" instead. Caleb thought it was a great idea, and the name has stuck ever since, although we occasionally slip and call him "Frankie," but usually only if he is being naughty.

As for the brown bunny, the boys thought that Brownie was a cute name, but that "Chocolate" would be even better. Seeing that "Chocolate" seemed like kind of a mouthful, I suggested a truncated alternative--one of the boys' favorite cold weather treats--"Cocoa". The boys all agreed that it was a good choice, and Cocoa he has been.

We have given Cocoa and Blueberry free reign of our screened-in porch and keep the ceiling fan on to make sure they stay cool during this heatwave. They are not litter-box trained, although over the past few days they have been gradually started to limit their pooping and peeing to one-fourth of the porch. I guess it could be worse, and hopefully over time they will learn to hone in on their litter box exclusively. Maybe then we'll even be able to let them roam around the house, especially since Blueberry has already managed to sneak into the house several times. Until then, I've been giving the vacuum a good work-out, and I've enlisted the twins to use the dustpan to sweep up the copious little round pellets.

Interestingly, all three boys have declared that Cocoa is their favorite, and Cocoa has warmed up to us more quickly than Blueberry has, in contradiction to what the teachers and kids at camp had told us. I guess we never have been ones to just go with the flow. Seeing how well the boys have bonded with Cocoa makes me especially glad that we decided to adopt him, too. Both bunnies are still slightly nervous around the boys, especially Moses, who is still learning how to be gentle. But when I go out on the porch by myself without the boys, both bunnies come hopping up to me for a snuggle and a pet. I don't think you could ask for sweeter pets than bunnies.

And now, a few unrelated quotes:

Caleb: "Mommy, can I read a book with you? I just really love you all the time!"

Joshua, flattening Cocoa's ears against his head: "Cocoa looks like a beaver!"

Moses: "Mom, babies have guns?"
Me: "No."
Moses: "Only just soldiers have guns."

Joe, listening to music: "Joshua, do you like this song?"
Joshua, after a thoughtful pause: "No, I don't like this song because it's not about God. I only like songs that are about God and Jesus."

Farmer Joshua

It's been really cute to see how excited the boys have been about our garden this Summer. Last year I hastily planted an in-ground garden in the back corner of our yard, and while the boys helped me water it occasionally, it didn't hold their interest quite as much because the plants didn't yield much fruit, and it wasn't in the area of the yard where they normally play. In light of last Summer's meager harvest, I decided to switch gears and give container gardening a try. It seems silly since we have such a huge yard, but being able to keep all of the plants in pots on the deck by the pool has made tending and watering more convenient, and in-between dips in the pool, the boys like to monitor their growth. Granted, the plants probably drank a little more chlorinated water than they would have otherwise!

Moses loves to pick cherry tomatoes and eat them straight off the plant. Not a single cherry tomato has made its way inside of our house all Summer, and they usually don't even get a chance to fully turn red before Moses plucks them. Joshua is our avid cucumber harvester. Every morning he wakes up and asks if we can go check on them, and gets very excited when a cucumber is ready to be picked. I think he takes after his Papa, who has always been an avid vegetable gardener. Since cucumbers are our most prolific crop, the boys have been eating a lot of them lately. Caleb still insists that he doesn't like the taste and pinches his nose while eating them, which has prompted Moses, who actually likes cucumbers, to do the same. The funny thing is that Moses doesn't hold his nose tight enough to have any effect on his ability to taste.

Yesterday we picked our first bell peppers, which Joshua decided that we should use as a pizza topping. When we picked our first zucchini, the boys were so excited to help me make zucchini bread. I'm so glad that they have this opportunity to grow and eat their own food.

And a few unrelated quotes:

Me: "If we get a pet bunny, what color would you want it to be?"
Moses: "Brown."
Me: "Why?"
Moses: "Because I am brown."

Moses: "Mom, I need more salad. And more Catawina dressing."

Joshua, observing my messy hair: "Mommy, you look like a porcupine."
Moses: "You look like a squirrel."

Moses: "I don't need mama anymore." (That's right, Moses is officially no longer drinking "mama" as of last week! Of course it took me a while to convince him that he didn't need it anymore.)

King of Jericho or Caiaphas? Tiger or Lion?

Lately Moses has been going through an argumentative phase. For example, today we were reading the story about Joshua and the Battle of Jericho in the boys' children's Bible. Moses pointed to an illustration of the king of Jericho and said, "That's Caiaphas." I corrected him and said, "No, Caiaphas was the high priest in the days of Jesus. That's the king of Jericho," but Moses stubbornly insisted, "No! That's Caiaphas!" And so we argued back and forth until I finally gave up. Whatever.

For the past couple days, Moses had been carrying around a toy tiger and calling it a "lion". I repeatedly told him, "Moses, that's not a lion. That's a tiger," to which he always retorted, "No! It a lion!" Then, when we were checking out at Trader Joe's today, the cashier asked him, "What kind of animal do you have there?" Moses paused, carefully averted his eyes away from me, and told the cashier that it was a tiger. So, just when I was beginning to wonder if he honestly believed the misconceptions he has been so fond of arguing in favor of, he showed me that he really just likes to give his mommy a hard time.

Sister or Dog? Gogi or Hot Dog? In-Utero iPhone Playing?

Our boys say some pretty crazy things. And they have a remarkable memory... mostly accurate, but occasionally extremely inaccurate!

Joshua: "Mommy, you look kind of like an old mommy."

Moses, observing Joe wearing a scarf on his head: "Daddy, you look like a Christian."

Moses, looking at a coupon for Oreo look-alike cookies, and remembering the time Uncle Chris babysat him about 9 months ago: "Remember, Uncle Chris give me these?"

Moses, pointing to a bank that he went to with Mimi over 6 months ago: "Remember, I go there with Mimi?"

Me: "Moses, do you promise not to tell your brothers that I gave you Chick-fil-a?"
Moses, grinning: "Yes."
Me: "Really, Moses, do you promise?"
Moses, still grinning: "No..."

Joshua, almost every morning for the past 3 weeks: "C'mon, Mommy! Let's go check on the cucumbers!"

Joshua: "Mommy, do you have a baby in your belly?"
Me: "Um, no."
Joshua: "How 'bout you get one in there?"
Caleb: "Maybe a girl this time."
Joshua: "Yeah, I want a sister."
Caleb: "And a dog, too."
Me: "Which one do you want more- a baby sister or a dog?"
Joshua: "A cat."

Caleb: "There's another Caleb in my class at Vacation Bible School!"
Joshua: "And another Joshua! But not the Joshua in the Bible. It's another Joshua. He doesn't have a sword."

Joe: "What do you like more- gogi or hot dogs?"
Joshua: "Hmmm... gogi. And rice."
Me: "Awww, good answer!"

Joshua: "Remember when I was a little baby and I was in your belly?"
Me: "Of course! You and Caleb were both in my belly at the same time."
Moses: "Remember when I was a little baby in your belly and I played your iPhone?"
Me: "Um, no..."

Moses, prefacing each acquisition of my iPhone: "Look, Mommy. I show you something."

Moses, shaking a finger at me every time he sits on the potty to poop: "But remember, don't wipe my butt, okay?"

All Those White Kids

Yesterday I took the boys to the doctor to have him fill out their school medical forms. While we were there, the doctor did a quick check-up on all three boys. Caleb is in the 50th %tile for height at 3'8" and is in the 60th for weight at 46 lbs. Joshua is in the 60th %tile for height at 3'9" and is in the 80th %tile for weight at 50.5 lbs. Moses is in the 60th %tile for height at 3'1" and the 75th %tile for weight at 31.5 lbs. I was pretty surprised to learn that Moses is in the upper percentiles for weight, despite not being unusually tall, since he looks so skinny. I guess it must be all those swimming muscles he's put on recently!

I just need to get a couple more forms filled out and I'll be ready to register the twins for Kindergarten, something I probably should've done a few months ago. I guess I'm just not in a huge hurry to ship my boys off to public school. It doesn't help that Joshua keeps telling me that he doesn't want to go to Kindergarten and that he thinks the other kids won't play with him. After he attended orientation, he told me, "I don't want to go to Kindergarten with all those white kids." I am still trying to figure out where he heard that, although it's quite possible that he genuinely made this observation on his own. True, the elementary school he'll be attending is notoriously homogenous (or at least much more so than his current circle of friends) but it really surprised me that my self-proclaimed "white" son would say that he didn't want to go to school with "all those white kids!"

Tale of Two Missing Teeth

Caleb lost his first two teeth today! The first one fell out while he was swimming, and my efforts to don goggles and scour the bottom of the pool were all in vain. The second one fell out later that evening while he was eating dinner, and when we couldn't find it, we figured it must've found a new home in Caleb's digestive tract. Thankfully, Babo later discovered it stuck to the bottom of his foot while he was walking through the dining room. So at least we have one of Caleb's first baby teeth, but the very first one is most likely forever lost in our pool's filtration system.

Meanwhile, Joshua's first two adult teeth are growing in nice and straight despite having made their debut while his baby teeth were still occupying their space. I'm trusting that the boys will inherit their mommy's good teeth genes and never need to pay any visits to the orthodontist, either!

PM Pottying: Progress or Pain?

For the past two nights, Moses has woken up in the middle of the night to use the potty. Last night, he woke up to go four times! Each time, I said, "Moses, you can just pee in your diaper", to which he adamantly replied, "No!" as if he found the mere suggestion insulting. And then of course he refused to put his diaper (or even underwear) back on afterwards. While I am proud that he's doing so well, I can't help but wonder if I've created a monster. Before Moses was potty trained, at least I could count on a good night's sleep every night!

A few quotes:

Me: "Moses, do you want watermelon or strawberries for breakfast?"
Moses, probably remembering all the watermelon I force-fed him during potty-training: "Strawberry. I don't want watermelon because I don't want go pee."

Moses: "Hey Caleb, I pooped!"
Caleb: "Oh wow, good job, baby!"
Moses: "And I peed, too!"
Caleb: "Wow, Moses, you're really growing up!"

Joshua, not yet cognizant of double negatives: "Jesus is never not a ghost. Jesus is never not a witch. He is a good man."

Joshua: "I bet Jesus has a sword."
Caleb: "Hmm, probably! A sword to get the bad guys."

Good Sports & Spiders

This past weekend we hosted the T-Ball Rockies end-of-season party at our house. Coach Brian gave each player a certificate and a trophy, accompanied by a superlative such as "Most Consistent", "Most Improved", “Most Athletic”, or “Best Hitter”. Not surprisingly, Caleb and Joshua didn’t win any of those titles. As Coach Brian presented the twins their awards, he noted that he could always count on them to greet him with a friendly, "Hi Coach Brian!” and after each game and practice, they always said, “Thank you Coach Brian! Bye, Coach Brian!" Therefore he granted them both the "Best Sportsmanship" award. I don’t think any other award could have made a mom prouder, and it was cute to see how genuinely excited the boys were to receive their first trophies. I suspect that they would have been much more enthusiastic about playing T-Ball at the beginning of the season had they known they’d be getting trophies engraved with their names when all was said and done!

Now that preschool is over, I'm adjusting to having all three boys with me all the time. There were a few weeks after Tauxemont Preschool ended, but before Joshua's special ed preschool concluded, where I'd have several afternoons each week with just Caleb and Moses. It's amazing how much more peaceful things were with just two boys instead of three. Trips to the grocery store were a breeze and playtime at home was peaceful and much quieter than usual. It's not that I think Joshua is any more disobedient or more of an instigator than the other two; the dynamics just seem to change when you don’t have an even number of children. You'll inevitably end up with an odd man out. In our house, it’s usually Moses and one of the twins versus the other twin, and it usually begins when the twins pick a fight with each other and Moses chooses sides. It’s actually kind of funny to see how the twins will pander to little Moses to try to convince him to be on their side. I've heard it said that the only way to remedy this situation is to have another child to even out the playing field. I'm not so sure about that solution!

In other news, Moses continues to swim like a champ. The funny thing is that he’s more interested in showing off his swimming skills to Caleb and Joshua than he is to me and Joe. Instead of pestering mom and dad for attention, he’s always saying, “Caleb, watch me!” or “Joshua, look at me!” I think it’s just his way of trying to prove to them that he’s one of the big boys. When we ask Moses how old he is, he tells us that he’s 5 years old. He also tells us that he has loose teeth, just like the twins. In Moses’ mind, he and his big brothers might as well be triplets.

Moses is also doing a great job using the potty. After several night-time accidents, we’ve gone back to having him wear a diaper at night (against his will, of course), but he’s definitely diaper-free during the day. We bought some brand new underwear just for Moses, since the hand-me-downs he’d been wearing were all stretched out, his brothers’ bums being significantly more rotund than his own! He seems to be pretty proud of his new under-duds.

And now, a taste of what we’ve been hearing around our house lately:

Joshua and Caleb have developed a habit of saying “Eew Spiders!” at random times during the day. I don’t know for sure, but I’ve deduced that they say this in response to something that looks kind of freaky, gives them the shivers, or simply is not as it should be--usually something with lots of little cracks or lines remotely resembling spider legs. I've heard them say “Eew Spiders!” in response to a wide range of things from lightning bolts to crumbling bread to hair. It's just one of those weird twin things that makes no sense to anyone other than themselves.

Caleb, admiring my new lip gloss: "Ooh, Mommy, I like your red lips."
Joshua, skeptical: "Mommy, you look like a different woman."

Joshua: "My staff doesn't work. It doesn't turn into a snake and it doesn't part the waters. I wish I could have Moses' staff. His staff was really, really cool."

Moses, while eating salsa and chips: "This is very spicy but I keep loving it. It my favorite!"

Joshua: "Are Hawaii and Hawai-oh twins?"
Joe: "You mean Hawaii and Ohio?"
Joshua: "Yeah."
Joe: "No, they're actually very different states."

Moses, while observing the plants in our vegetable garden: "When the zucchini turns red, then we can eat it!"
Me: "No, Moses, the zucchini is not going to turn red. Only the tomatoes will turn red."
Moses: "No! He did turn red!"

Our Two-Year-Old Sea Turtle

Yesterday Moses started swimming with his face in the water while wearing his robot vest (his bulky Speedo floatation vest, which he thinks makes him look like a robot). He told me, "Look, Mom, I'm swimming like a turtle!" Indeed, his robot vest did somewhat resemble a turtle shell. I was pretty impressed and took a video of him "swimming like a turtle".

Then, this afternoon Moses got out of the pool and asked me to take off his robot vest. He requested that I get in the "baby pool" (the non-heated hot tub which is 3 times deeper than your average baby pool) with him, and he stood on the step and told me to go to the other side. Moses then plunged into the deeper waters, and I naturally reached out to catch him. This act of motherly propriety was met with a vehement protest. "No, Mom, don't catch me!" he ordered. "But I need to catch you! You can't swim!" I replied. "No! Don't catch me!" he angrily reiterated.

After several more attempts in which I dutifully ignored Moses' adamant demands to not rescue him while he flung himself into the depths of the hot tub, I finally obliged. I figured I would let him find out for himself that he couldn't swim without my help. Well, was I ever proven wrong! Moses in fact swam across the deep part of the hot tub right into my arms. I was so amazed; it was surreal. He proceeded to swim back and forth again and again, then went down to touch the bottom of the tub with his feet several times, too. Previously, Moses would ask me to dunk him so he could touch the bottom of the pool, since he was unable to do so while wearing his bouyant robot vest.

Next, I suggested he try out his new swimming skills in the "big pool" and he did just as well. Moses covered even longer distances than the diameter of the hot tub, completely unassisted with his face underwater (I was crouched at the edge of the pool capturing the magic on video). He kept proclaiming "I'm so brave!" and beamed with pride as he swam sans floatation device in deep water.

I am completely amazed that Moses figured out how to swim all by himself in just a couple weeks. Our pool has been open for less than a month, and while the husky twins braved the frigid waters from opening day onward, skinny Moses was reluctant to get his feet wet until after the Memorial Day holiday ushered in warmer temperatures. I never even expected that he would learn to swim this Summer, let alone before Summer officially even begins, and before he's even two and a half years old (just for the record, he's 2 years and 3 months). The twins learned to swim when they were 3 and a half, and I thought that was pretty impressive.

I guess this is just another example of Moses' determination to be "one of the boys". Never mind that he is over 3 years younger than his older brothers. If he sees the twins doing something, he won't quit until he can do it, too.

My Favorite

This afternoon Mimi stopped by for a quick visit and brought a bag of kettle corn for the boys. Moses picked it up and walked it over to Joshua, saying "I give it to Joshua because popcorn is his favorite." Curious to see if Moses really knew what it meant to have something be your favorite, Mimi asked, "What is your favorite, Moses?"

Moses replied, "Ohhhh, I don't know... Maybe... Broccoli!" And thus we knew that he really does understand the meaning of "favorite" :)

P.S. I can confidently say that Moses indeed is fully potty trained! He's been pooping on the potty like a pro, and has even been sleeping at night without a diaper, accident-free!

First Lost Tooth & Potty Training Superstar

Moses is basically fully potty trained! He's even figured out #2 a lot sooner than I expected. He hasn't had a poop accident since last weekend, and at night his diaper has been dry all but once in the past week. He even stayed dry during the 3.5-hour car rides to and from Virginia Beach last weekend. We put him in a diaper on the drive down last Saturday as a precautionary measure, but Moses insisted on taking it off mid-trip. We drove nonstop without any pit stops, and when he needed to pee, he did so in a bottle while still buckled into his car seat. Moses also knows to get out of the pool and pee in the grass, which is a huge bonus since I'm the one responsible for maintaining our pool's chemical balance this summer. I seriously can't imagine an easier potty training experience.

Joshua experienced a milestone of his own today when he lost his first baby tooth! He is the first of the twins to lose a tooth. It had been taunting us for a while, and since his first two adult teeth had already poked through, we were eager for him to lose it lest his new teeth grow in crooked. Instead of leaving a dollar or whatever is the going rate under his pillow, the Tooth Fairy a.k.a. Daddy gave Joshua a "real" gun, per his request. According to Joshua, it looks just like Gospel Bill's gun. And of course, as soon as Joshua and Daddy came home from the Variety Store with his new "real" gun, we promptly found ourselves back in the car to get "real" guns for Caleb and Moses, too. After coming home with "real" guns all around, Joshua said to Joe, "Daddy, let's take a nap. Then when we wake up, we'll go shoot some bad guys." Thankfully, Joshua's interest in guns is tempered by his interest in emulating great men of the Bible. After finding a new "staff" in the woods, he matter-of-factly told me--as if he had no doubt that it would actually work--"I'm going to take my staff and go try it out by the pool. I'm going to part the water."

By the way, I apparently I spend way too much time at Target, as evidenced by Moses' recent perception of a credit card's intended use. We got new credit cards in the mail so I gave the boys the old ones to play with.
Caleb: "What is that thing called?"
Me: "It's a credit card."
Moses: "No, that not credit card. That for Target!"

Diaper-Free Before Age Three--Wheee!

Moses is not yet completely diaper-free, but we sure are close! Yesterday he started telling me when he needed to go pee, as opposed to me putting him on the potty every half-hour as a preventative measure, and most of the time he made it to the potty without having an accident. In fact, his only pee accident occurred on the bathroom floor, which he considerately took the initiative to wipe up himself. Moses has yet to intentionally poop on the potty, though, and I have a feeling this might come a little later, as it did with the twins. Case in point: yesterday Moses came running to me and said, "I need a napkin." As that all-too-familiar stench wafted up to my nose, I asked him why he needed a napkin, and he urgently reiterated his request. I gave him a napkin and then followed him out towards the porch, where he instructed me to stay at the door. "No, Mommy, you stay there. I will clean it. You stay there, ok?" I of course ignored his instructions, but I admire his independent nature and thought it was sweet that he had good intentions to clean it himself.

This afternoon, when it was time to take the twins to preschool, I felt confident enough to have Moses leave the house without a diaper, and sure enough, after we dropped his brothers off and got back to the car, Moses told me "I need to pee at Tauxemont". He had peed on the potty at Tauxemont for the first time on Monday, and I guess he wanted to do it again. Rather than walk back into the school, I rummaged through the trash heap that inevitably spawns on the floor of our car and had him pee in an empty Deer Park bottle. Moses was thoroughly amused by the novelty of this new waste receptacle. I then decided to go do some shopping in Old Town, so I put him in a diaper since I thought he might fall asleep while in the stroller. Of course he stayed awake for the duration of our outing, but while we were out and about he did tell me that he needed to go pee even though he was wearing a diaper. I told him to go ahead and pee in his diaper since we were nowhere near a bathroom. Then that evening, to cap off a day of profound potty progress, Moses peed at the potty standing up "like a big boy" for the first time. Needless to say, I am so impressed that our 2-year-and-3-month-old is almost diaper-free!

Turning Water into Blood & Reining in Mommy

Yesterday was our second annual pool opening. After the cover was removed and the water cleared, one of the first things Moses did was dramatically touch the tip of a stick into the pool water and boldly declare, "I turn the water [insert dramatic pause] into blood!" Suffice it to say, Moses has been watching the movie featuring his namesake quite a lot lately.

Today, as we were walking across the field after the twins' T-Ball practice, Moses grabbed at the two long drawstrings attached to my hoodie and said, "Let me hold the reins! You a horse, Mommy!" Where does he learn this stuff? Mind you, he's only 2 years and 3 months old. This kid is something else!

Celebrating Differences

I know I've previously mentioned how different Moses is from the twins, but sometimes they're so different that it's hard to believe they're even related. And I'm not even talking about their physical appearances.

First off, Moses craves fruits and veggies, while the twins crave carbs. Last night I made oven-fried chicken, broccoli, rice, and corn on the cob for dinner. Joshua ate his meal in the following order: Rice, chicken, corn, broccoli. Moses ate his meal in the exact opposite order: broccoli, corn, chicken, rice. Then, Moses of course asked for second and third helpings of broccoli and corn.

The twins never expressed much interest in playing team sports and are only participating in their T-Ball league because I made the executive decision to sign them up without asking their opinion on the matter. The hope that they will get something tasty to eat afterwards is the light at the end of their T-Ball tunnel, and they tend to run faster to the car after their games than they do around the bases. In fact, Caleb refused to participate in their first game of the season, and instead sat on the sidelines crying and moping. The consequence of his behavior was that he stayed at home with me and ate salad for dinner while Joe took Joshua and Moses to Roy Roger's after the game. Needless to say, he has been participating in the games ever since then. I suspect that Moses will never need such coercion, as he regularly practices "hustling" around imaginary bases and hitting balls with his big foam bat. To the twins' credit, now that they've gotten the hang of the basic rules of the game, their game play has markedly improved. Joshua still moves more like a tortoise than a hare when he's rounding the bases, but who knows, maybe that's because there are no "outs" in T-Ball... or maybe it's because we don't greet him at each base with a forkful of macaroni and cheese... or maybe it's because T-Ball isn't played underwater. The other day Joshua told me he didn't want to play T-Ball, he just wanted to go swimming. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all.

Potty training Moses has been a breeze compared to the nightmarish experience of potty training the twins. The twins were ridiculously stubborn and for the longest time they screamed bloody murder whenever I put them on the toilet. Moses, on the other hand, has been happily sitting on the potty from the get-go. He fully understands what he's supposed to do and will try his best to muster a pee, but if he doesn't need to go, he simply tells me, "the pee is not coming out" and he gets down and tries again later. There's none of the stressful emotionally draining turmoil that characterized the twins' potty training ordeal. Yesterday Moses only had one accident all afternoon and evening, and he's over a year younger than the twins were when they finally potty trained. He's at the point now where if he begins to pee in his pants, he'll realize it and stop, come tell me, and finish the job on the toilet. So, he isn't fully trained, but I am confident that he will be much earlier than his brothers were.

Don't get me wrong, I love my twins and I've been delighted to see them learn and excel in matters of eternal significance. Their teacher recently looked me in the eye and told me how lucky I am to have such nice, sweet boys. I'm confident that luck had nothing to do with how well they've turned out, but never mind that. I'm just thankful that they were our firstborn and that we didn't know any better that a lot of what they put us through was simply ridiculous!

And now for a few quotes:

Moses: "Mommy, where is you in the Bible?"
Me: "I'm not in the Bible. Moses, Joshua, Caleb, and Joe are in the Bible, but not Katie."
Joshua: "Oh no, I'm so sorry, Mommy!"

Moses, after hearing the story of Jesus turning water into wine: "Me don't drink wine."

Moses: "I need to go inside get some water. I be careful, OK?"

Moses, while looking at a picture of his backside and being asked whose butt it is: "That's my butt!"

Joshua: "Daddy! If you eat Cheerios with milk it could make you a giant!"
To give you some context, a few days before we told Joshua that drinking lots of milk would make him grow big and tall like a giant. Now, Joshua is very concerned about becoming a giant like Goliath, has cut back on his own milk consumption, and has been encouraging others to do the same.

Guns and Swords and Slings, Oh My!

The twins are 5 and a half! It's hard to believe they are going to "graduate" from preschool in two weeks and will begin Kindergarten in the Fall.

Lately, all three boys have become fascinated with weapons. For the longest time, we didn't have any toy guns and so they'd turn coat hangers, toy drills, and drinking straws into guns. Then they were given water guns as a birthday party favor, and most recently they acquired some foam swords. Moses' newest catch phrase is, "Stand back!" which he sternly utters while flourishing his weapon of choice with his feet planted far apart and his brow in a furrow. I have no idea where he learns this stuff! The twins like to hold their guns while riding in the car with the windows rolled down, keeping their eyes peeled for imaginary bad guys hiding in the trees or flying overhead.

The boys have also recently started playing "David and Goliath". They like to hold their swords upside down and pretend that it's David's sling, with the handle being the pouch that holds stone. In all of their weaponry play, they always want to be the "good guys", so they tend to fight over who gets to be David. They've become very interested in their children's Bible, and the twins can actually read many of the words by sounding them out. One of their favorite stories is "Joshua and the Spies" which begins: "After Moses died, Joshua became the leader of the Israelites". Without fail, Moses always interrupts and vehemently asserts, "Hey! I not died!" They also enjoy watching Hanna Barbera's "The Greatest Adventure Stories from the Bible" movies, which I also watched when I was a child. The premise of this series is that a trio of modern-day archaeologists (Derek, Margo, and Moki) travel back in time to witness Bible stories unfold before their eyes. The other day, Joshua had the Bible open in his lap while he was watching one of these movies. After scouring the pages of the Bible, he sighed and said, "Derek and Moki are not in the Bible."

And now, a few quotes:

Moses: "I combing my hair. I a girl now."
Me: "No, you're still a boy. You'll always be a boy."
Moses: "Moses is a boy. Mommy is a girl."

Joshua: "I think we need to get a new car. This car is getting really, really old. I think we should get a Jeep."

Joshua: "Thank you, Mommy. You're being a really good girl for getting me a cookie."

Joshua: "He ate a lot of grass!"
Caleb: "She! Pinky is a she, Joshua."
Joshua: "Oh, you're right, I'm so sorry, Caleb. It was my fault. Pinky is a girl."

Milk and Gogi Burps

Here are a bunch of quotes I've been collecting over the past couple months...

Moses, talking about Mario after a recent visit to Granny and Babo's house during which he watched Daddy play a lot of Mario: "Mommy, does Mario fly? Moses no fly. Only Mario fly. Is star Mario friend? Mario has moustache."

Moses, lamenting the contents of his new piggy bank: "I don't have nothing!"

Joshua: "I want to dream. When you dream, you get to have a cloud next to your head."

Caleb, while pulling my hair up: "Mommy, you look kind of like a goat."

Moses, while wearing Joe's eyeglasses: "I look like a woman."

Moses, while watching a movie about the Easter story: "I don't want the bad guys to get Jesus! I want Jesus to get the bad guys!"
Joshua: "Don't worry, baby, we will take care of the bad guys."

Moses, looking concerned: "Mommy, why is this door open?"
Me: "I opened it to let the smoke escape. Why, do you want to close it?"
Moses: "Yeah, because I don't want Daddy to go somewhere!"

Moses: "My leg got hurt. I want Mommy to kiss it."

Moses, announcing Mimi's arrival: "Mommy, your mom's here!"

Caleb, reading a street sign: "It's King Street!"
Moses: "Just like King Jesus!"

Joshua, while playing with his long uncut hair: "Oh no, am I going to turn into a girl?"

Joshua: "I burped! My burp smelled good because it had milk and gogi in it."

The Twins in Japan

No, we are not going to Japan anytime soon, but I just received the following message in my YouTube inbox this morning:

Urgent Request from FujiTV Network(yumi-arima)

Dear an9elkatie,

My name is Yumi Arima writing from Fuji Television Network. We are the biggest nation-wide broadcasting network in Japan.
I am currently working on a program titled "Tokudane," which is a weekly morning show (Mon-Fri), owning hundreds of thousands of viewers. In our program, there is a segment introducing funny and/or astonishing videos from around the world. We are known as the biggest TV broadcaster which introduces such videos in Japan.

For its upcoming episode, we are very much interested in your video " Twin talk ", and we wish to have your permission that allows us to use your video on our morning show.
Please contact me　by replying this message or via my email:yumi.arima@with1.fujitv.co.jp

I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you very much.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Sincerely yours

Arima Yumi

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Fuji television network
Yumi Arima
Tell:+81-3-5500-8383
Fax:+81-3-5500-8068

So, if anyone who reads this happens to be in Japan this week, make sure to tune in to "Tokudane" and keep your eyes peeled for Caleb and Joshua in Twin Talk!

The Twins on TV

On March 30th, Granny called to tell us that she'd just seen Caleb and Joshua on "Inside Edition" of TV. As it turns out, the TV show had aired a video of the twins that I'd posted on YouTube about 4 years ago. It's entitled "Twin Talk" and features 18-month-old Caleb and Joshua "talking" to each other in their own twin language. This all happened in the wake of another video of talking toddler twins that swept the web a couple days earlier. I knew something was up when I started receiving dozens of notifications every few hours that people had commented on this particular video. It wasn't until nearly a week later, however, that I noticed the following message in my YouTube inbox:

Interview Request

My name is Sarah Rubenstein and I work for the US television show Inside Edition. I'm very interested in interviewing you about your twins video of Caleb and Joshua playing and laughing together

Recently a video of twins has gone viral where it appears that the twins are talking to each other. It brings up the age-old question about whether twins have special communication skills between the two of them.

We are on a tight deadline and would need to conduct the interview at a satellite studio within the next four hours.

Please call or e-mail me to discuss further. I'm reachable at 212-817-5472 and at Srubenstein@cbs.com

Sincerely,
Sarah Rubenstein
Assignment Editor
Inside Edition
555 West 57th Street, Suite 1300
New York, NY 10019

Alas, I didn't even see this message til nearly a week past the 4-hour deadline! Oh well, I console myself with the fact that I've already earned over $100 in revenues from ads aired on "Twin Talk" and that the video has over 400,000 hits. I never would have imagined any of this when I posted this video for the enjoyment of a few family and friends four years ago. It just goes to show that you never know what you post on the internet might show up on TV and be seen by nearly half a million people a few years later!

Twins Triumphant on Two Wheels

March was a big month for the twins. They reached a major milestone when they learned to ride their two-wheel bikes without training wheels. In fact, they never used training wheels at all. It only took them about 30 minutes to get the hang of riding two-wheelers, having already learned how to balance on their Mini Glider balance bikes. Caleb and Joshua learned to ride on the very same church parking lot where I used to practice riding my bike (and later, driving a car) in the days of yore. The boys caught on a lot more quickly than I did, though, and within a couple days of first learning to ride, they were already navigating the neighborhood sidewalks along the dozen or so blocks to Mimi and Papa's house. Moses felt left out whenever the twins departed on their bike rides, so I bought a second-hand Burley bike trailer on Craigslist, and now we can all ride together as a family. After his first ride in the trailer, Moses proudly told Mimi, "I ride in a cage!"

Wearing a Necklace like Katie Wolf

Moses has been 2 years old for exactly one month! And what better day to write an update on all the clever things he's been saying than on the holiday that celebrates one quarter of his ethnic heritage.

Moses, while holding up a cheese stick: "It like a one!"

Moses, suffering from his not-so-well-endowed rump: "Oh no! My pants falling down!"

Moses, holding up a partially-eaten cucumber slice: "Look what I made! It California!"
Moses, after taking another bite of the cucumber: "It Mexico!"

Moses, holding a large slice and a small slice of cucumber: "Look, it a baby one and a mommy one."

Moses, demonstrating an understanding of the spirit realm: "Mommy, I have a angel?"
Me: "Yes, that's right, you have a guardian angel."
Moses: "Gospel Bill have a angel?"
Me: "Yeah."
Moses: "Pillow no have a angel."
Me: "Yeah, that's right! Only people have angels."

Moses, while wearing Mardi Gras beads: "I wearing a necklace. I wearing a necklace like Katie Wolf!"

Lastly, we have a doormat by our front door that has four penguins waddling in a line. A large penguin leads the way with three smaller penguins following behind. Moses reminded me of Old Testament Joseph the other day when he pointed to two of the smaller penguins and said, "That Joshua and that Caleb," then pointed to the biggest penguin and said, "and that one Moses!"

Justin

"No, Mommy! No give Cody Maverick to Justin! That not a good plan!"

This is what Moses said when I told Caleb and Joshua that I'd give away "Surf's Up" if they wouldn't stop asking me to watch it all the time. When the boys shirk their responsibilities or otherwise demonstrate that their priorities are not in order, I have found it useful to threaten to give their cherished possessions away to a boy named Justin. "Who is this Justin fellow?" you might ask.

Before Christmas, the boys and I put together a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. As I'm apt to do, I completely forgot about it until the night before it was due to be turned in at MOPS, so I had to stuff it full of little things that I already had in the house--things I'd bought ahead of time and had kept hidden to give the boys for Christmas. The boys were naturally upset that I was giving away Lightning McQueen socks, pens, clothes, and other goodies to some anonymous child on the other side of the world. Observing their lack of enthusiasm, it occurred to me that personalizing this nameless child might help stir up some empathy. So, I told the boys that this box of treats would be for a boy named Justin who is very poor and doesn't have any clothes, toys, Christmas trees, or possibly even any parents. With this in mind, the boys' hearts softened and they agreed to give away the fun little toys and accessories that I'd originally picked out with them in mind. To complete Justin's persona, Joshua wanted to know whether he is white or brown, and I told him I wasn't sure. Joshua said he thought that Justin is brown.

A couple months later, we received a newsletter from the charity that organizes Operation Christmas Child. After perusing all of the pictures in the newsletter, Joe found a photo of a little Haitian child happily clutching a shoebox and told the boys that the child was Justin. Upon closer inspection, I realized that "Justin" was carrying a "girl" shoebox and was probably actually a little girl. Oh well! So, despite having their moments of selfishness, I think the boys are looking forward to filling another box full of treats to send to Justin next Christmas.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Moses!

February has been a whirlwind of a month. Papa, Moses, Sooja Emo, and I all celebrated our birthdays this month, with Moses' festivities being spread out over a span of several days involving a party with family, then another party with a few of his little boy friends, and then a much-anticipated trip to Chuck-E-Cheese. Moses even stuck a candle in his slice of cake and insisted that we sing to him at Sooja Emo's birthday party, a good two weeks after his own birthday had passed. Anyway, I think I will be quite content not to eat another bite of cake until Joe's birthday in June!

Here are a few samples of the pearls of wisdom that have been coming out of Moses' mouth in the days leading up to and shortly following his 2nd birthday. I keep a pad of paper in the kitchen so I can jot down the things he says before I forget. I probably seem to be a bit obsessive about this, but I'm just totally in awe of this verbally precocious child who is speaking better than his brothers did when they were nearly twice his age.

Moses, after I gave him a towel to dry his hands: Thank you giving me towel.

Moses, after I came home from movie night at a friend's house: I missed you, Mommy!

Moses: My birthday coming soon! I wanna go Chuck-E-Cheese my birthday!

Moses, telling me what theme he wanted for his birthday party. Are almost-2-year-olds even supposed to know that they can have a "themed" party? We granted his request with a Pooh cake and Pooh gifts at our family celebration: Mommy, I want a Pooh birthday.

Moses, stirring water in the turtle pool with a stick: I cooking dinner.
Me: What're you cooking?
Moses: I making cookies dinner!

Moses, seeing some children riding bikes down our street: Where those kids going?

Moses, in response to his brothers' request to let Pinky run around on the porch: No! Pinky can't go on porch. He could die!

Moses, while eating a clementine: Pinky no eat that orange.

Moses, while eating strawberry jam straight out of the jar: Mmm, jam. I eat it. Praise God!

Moses, at dinner: We need to pray.
Joe: Ok, let's pray.
Moses: No, wait til Mommy comes.
Joe: Ok, that's a good idea.
Moses, observing that Joshua has continued to eat while Joe prays: No, Joshua! No eat. Pray!

Moses: Oh no, my drink all gone!

Moses, while lining up three blueberries in a vertical row, like a snowman: Hey Mommy, I making a snowman.

Moses, upset about being excluded: Hey Mommy, Caleb not playing me.

And we'll end with a mealtime prayer from Caleb:
Caleb: Dear God, thank you for this roll and jam and Mommy and Daddy and Joshua and Moses and Mimi and Papa and Uncle Chris and Granny and Babo and Texas and Idaho and Kansas and Alabama and New Mexico and Hawaii and Ohio. Amen.

The School Dance

This past month Caleb graduated out of his special ed preschool. His teacher, Ms. Jane, said she saw no need to keep him there any longer and that he'd better be served surrounded by stronger language models. Each special ed class has two "model students", but as is often the case, the two model students in Caleb's classroom were girls, and they didn't want to play with the boys. Thus, the special ed students--all boys, none with exemplary language skills--were usually left to engage in sup-par verbal communication amongst themselves.

When Caleb first started to attend this preschool, he refused to dance or sing. When his teacher finally told him it was a rule that "everyone in Ms. Jane's class must dance and sing", he decided that he didn't want to break the rules, so he started dancing and singing. Apparently Caleb has become quite a stickler for rules, and was always quick to tell his teacher if someone was doing something they weren't supposed to be doing (as he also does with his brothers at home!). Even so, his teacher told me that he still managed to remain very popular with his classmates. He must have won them over with his smooth moves, because Ms. Jane said that Caleb finished his tenure in her classroom as the craziest dancer of the bunch. She also said that when she told jokes, they would go over the other kids' heads and that Caleb was the only child in the class who would laugh. She said he needed to be with other children who could also "get" jokes. So, even though she has told me on numerous occasions that Caleb is a wonderful child and a joy to have in her class, it would be in his best interest to attend the community preschool full-time.

So now Joshua reluctantly boards the school bus all by himself three times a week. He is fond of his special ed preschool, but doesn't like the idea of Caleb having fun somewhere else without him. He still refuses to sing and dance at preschool, and even though his teacher has told me that he's the most talkative student in her class, he is being kept there a while longer in hopes that he'll come out of his shell (and hopefully straighten out a few pronouns along the way). Joshua of course wanted to know why Caleb doesn't go to this preschool any longer, and I told him it's because Caleb obeyed the rules and sang and danced when his teacher told him to.

When I picked Joshua up today, his teacher told me that he said, "I'm still here because I need to sing and dance," but still refused to do so. She added, "he is just so shy!" The ironic thing is that "shy" is one of the last words I would use to describe Joshua. He's loud, gregarious, and has no qualms about striking up conversations with complete strangers. As I type this, he is upstairs dancing (in other words, bouncing on the bed) with his brothers while Joe plays the electric guitar. But for whatever reason, he refuses to dance at school. Granted, he is a pretty stubborn kid and whenever he insists that he can't do something (zipping up his coat, buckling himself into his carseat, and writing his name are a few examples that come to mind), then eventually does it after days, weeks, or months of prodding, he breaks down in tears as if he's angry that we proved him wrong. Similarly, I have a feeling that he is too stubborn to admit that he really can dance at school. But then again, I was never much of a social dancer, either, so I guess I can't really blame him!

Twins' 5-Year Check-up

A couple days after I took Moses to the doctor for his 2-year check-up, I took Caleb and Joshua in for their belated 5-year check-up. Joshua now weighs 47 lbs and is 44.5 inches tall, which puts him in the 80th and 75th percentiles, respectively. Caleb weighs a little less but is still above average at 44.5 lbs, which is in the 65th percentile. He is in the 50th percentile for height at 43 inches. I have no doubt that the slight disparity in size is due to the fact that Joshua eats faster than Caleb, and therefore usually ends up eating more. The twins participated in a vision test for the first time (the one with the variously oriented "E's") and did a great job, passing with flying colors. Praise God for healthy boys!

I talked to the doctor at length about the twins' previously diagnosed language delays, and after conversing with them for a while, he said that he thought they seemed like perfectly normal five-year-olds. I told him that Caleb has made a lot of progress and is soon going to be graduated out of his special ed preschool program, but that Joshua might need to stay longer (which is fine with Joshua, because lately he's been telling me that he'd rather go to his special ed preschool than his community preschool). Of course, Caleb responded to most of the doctor's questions by saying "I don't know" while Joshua chatted up a storm and intelligently answered questions thoughout the duration of the hour-long visit. I tell you, just when we think we have the twins pegged, they always switch things up!

Moses' 2-Year Stats & We Have Sweet Boys

He won't be 2 for another 10 days, but today Moses went to the doctor for his 2-year-old check-up. He is 35 inches tall and weighs 28 lbs. 10 oz., which is in the 60th percentile for both categories. He checked out healthy in all areas. Thank God for good health!

In other news, our boys are really sweet. And I'm not just saying that. People, ranging from complete strangers to acquaintances to close friends keep reminding me of this fact. For example, our neighbor across the street recently told me, "Katie, you have the friendliest boys. They always make my day." Whenever the boys see this particular neighbor, they always wave to her and call out "Hi Mrs. D___!" Another example is when I took the boys on a crowded tour of the mansion at Mount Vernon late one afternoon and a tour guide told me, "You have such a nice family." Even though Moses would have rather been napping and the twins were nearly as tired, I guess they were still better-behaved than many of the children who pass through there. A third example is when a friend of mine who has two girls invited us over for dinner and told me, "I normally wouldn't invite a family with three boys over to our house, but your boys are so sweet, I know they won't be a problem." And lastly, the mother of one of the twins' classmates recently told me, "Your boys are so sweet. They are so polite and nice to everyone, and they always say 'Hi Mrs. G___!' when they see me." So there you have it, I'm not just making this stuff up. Now if only they could be sweet to each other 100% of the time, wouldn't that be nice?

And now for a few quotes:

Moses: "What that man doing?"
Me, taking a wild guess about which man he's referring to: "He's running."
Moses: "Umm, umm, umm... No, he not running. He riding a bike!"

Caleb: "Smile, Pinky!"
Joshua: "Caleb, Pinky can't smile because he's an animal."

Me: "It's Papa's birthday today, boys."
Caleb: "Yay! I love Papa! He's a nice man."

Joshua: "Today I'm going to be six years old and then I'll go to Kindergarten."
(We are still working on the concept of yesterday, today, next year, etc.)

Does Coffee Make You Fat?

Moses, in tears because Joshua drank all of his water: "Joshua drink all my water! Joshua, you no drink all my water!"

Joe sings his original "Moses please don't scream" song.
Moses protests, "No! Don't sing that. I don't like that, Daddy."

Caleb, at the dinner table: "Mommy, you can't sleep while you are driving." For the record, I have never fallen asleep while driving. The "you" was a generality not specifically directed at me.

Moses, after stuffing a napkin in his mouth and then removing it: "You can't drink a napkin."

Joshua: "Mommy, I think you're getting really fat."
Me: "Oh really? Where am I getting fat?"
Caleb, while patting my hip: "In the hips, Mommy."

Moses, 23 months old, asking the most age-inappropriate question to date, after enjoying 2/3 of a grande coffee frappuccino: "[Does] coffee make you fat?"

Lately the boys have been obsessed with knowing which foods will make them fat. I knew we had to start being vigilant when Joshua told me that he no longer wanted to wear his jeans because they are too tight in the butt even though they still had plenty of length left in the leg. And no, they are not "skinny" jeans--they are relaxed fit! So when the boys wanted to know why they couldn't have a second bowl of cereal right before bedtime, I told them that eating too much cereal could make them get fat.

I'd read several years ago that cereal was possibly the most unhealthy "health" food on the market. I didn't think too much of it until I was pregnant with Moses and my blood sugar level registered unusually high at a prenatal visit which had been preceded by a breakfast of Special K Red Berries--a cereal marketed towards women who want to lose weight (which, needless to say, was not why I was eating it). My midwife (who is also a naturopathic doctor) went on to tell me that she suspects that breakfast cereal is largely responsible for America's obesity epidemic. And what would the twins eat morning, noon, and night, if I let them? Cereal. And we don't even buy "sugary" cereals. Even the "healthy" cereals such as Cheerios and Corn Flakes are loaded with sugar.

Anyway, ever since I talked to the twins about not going overboard with foods that could make them fat, they (and apparently now Moses, too) want to know whether or not each morsel they consume will make them fat. So if the boys tell you that you're getting fat, or if they tell you that what you're eating will make you get fat, you'll know not to take it personally!

Will You Play With Me?

Joe: "Caleb, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Caleb: "Oh, I don't know."
Joe: "Do you want to be the President of the United States?"
Caleb: "The United States? Sure! I want to be Texas!"
Joe: "You mean, you want to be governor of Texas?"
Caleb: "Yeah! And Joshua will be Idaho. And Moses will be Wisconsin."

"I'm mad at you, Mommy. I still love you, but I'm mad at you right now." --Caleb, after I somehow offended him.

"Will you play with me, Mommy?" --Caleb and Joshua say this all the time. I guess it's something they've picked up from the preschool social scene. They ask this in lieu of "will you forgive me?" when they know they've done something naughty and want to make sure that we're not going to hold it against them.

"I need my own gun. Where'd my own gun go?" --Moses, looking for the toy drill.

"I shoot a very naughty bad guy." --Moses, while holding his "own gun".

Cody Maverick & Curious George

Here are a couple more Moses quotes from the past couple days. Tomorrow he will be 23 months old!

"Mommy, I am awake." --Moses, after being carried downstairs in his Daddy's arms after a nap.

"I don't wanna finish my egg, alright? Ok, Mommy, can I have cold pizza?" --Moses, lobbying that I overlook his uneaten breakfast and let him proceed directly into lunch.

"I wanna close that door because it scary in there!" --Moses, explaining why he closed the door to the basement. In case you didn't notice, this is a 10-word-sentence! Just to give you some context, according to the "My Toddler This Week" email I received today, at around age 2 a child should be able to "form two- to four-word sentences" such as "Bird fly high."

"Cody Maverick splashes in the water, like Curious George." --Moses, drawing a connection between characters in a book and a movie. In Curious George, George tries to fly like a bird and falls into the ocean. Cody Maverick is the main character of Surf's Up, a movie about surfing penguins.

By the way, we first rented Surf's Up at the Red Box at Safeway a couple weeks ago and liked it so much that we bought a used copy on Ebay. The other day I could tell that Joshua was in deep contemplation, so I asked him what he was thinking about. "Mommy, I love the baby Cody Maverick," he replied (there is a touching scene in the movie that flashes back to when Cody was a baby). Anyway, it's a really cute movie. The Wolfs give it 5 stars!

Moses, 1 Month Shy of 2 Years

Moses won't be 23 months for another few days, but since he is taking a nap at home in bed for a change, I'm going to go ahead and post this now while I have the chance. These days he usually only naps if he falls asleep on our way home from running errands while Caleb and Joshua are in school, and he wakes up when I try to move him inside.

Moses, getting ready to hold Pinky: “See Mommy, it not scary.”
Moses, holding Pinky: “It scary! It scary!”

Moses, pointing to the whiskers in an illustration of a cat: “That cat has spiders.”

Moses, while eating sections of a clementine: “Look, it's a boat! Tchooo Tchooo!”

Moses, while using the Buzz Lightyear laptop that our friend Mr. Ray gave the boys for Christmas: “I checking my email.”

Moses, while pointing a toy drill at me as if it’s a gun: “Mommy, you a bad guy.”

Moses, while playing with a toy motorcycle: “I not ride motorcycle. Only man ride motorcycle.”

Moses, while rifling through my clothes drawers and pulling out my pink fleece pullover: “Mommy, can you wear it?” I asked him why he wanted me to wear it, and he smugly replied, “Because I want to.”

Moses, asserting his independence about a hundred times a day: “No, I do it!” This is a stark contrast to the twins who always wanted (and still occasionally want) us to do everything for them.

Moses: “I love Caleb. I love Joshua, too.”

Moses, on our way home from Sam's Club, reflecting on all the samples he enjoyed: "I had fun. Let's see, I eat chicken, and chocolate milk, and yogurt, and chicken, and chocolate milk."

Moses, while watching “The Phantom” episode of Gospel Bill: “It scary! Turn it off! I don't like it!”
Caleb, while turning off the TV for his little brother: “It's ok, Moses. Gospel Bill will get him. It's over, baby.”

New Pet for a New Year

This past Sunday we got the boys their first pet, a guinea pig named Pinky that previously belonged to some friends from church. I honestly don’t know what possessed me to say, “Ok, we’ll try her out for a week, and if we’re not allergic, we’ll keep her.” Maybe it’s because lately the boys have been hounding me, “Can we have a cat in our home? Can we have a dog in our home?” and since I’m miserably allergic to cats and didn’t want the responsibility or cost of a pet that would ever require medical attention or grooming, I thought a guinea pig would be a fair compromise. I have a hard enough time remembering to take my own children to the doctor for their yearly check-ups (the twins' appointment is currently two months overdue), they have never been to the dentist, and it’s been over four years since I’ve had my hair cut in a professional establishment, so I couldn't fathom having to throw vet and grooming appointments into the mix.

When I agreed to take Pinky, I guess it didn’t occur to me that while guinea pigs may be more expendable than dogs, they still poop a lot and beg for food a lot. Pinky has far less shame than the demure rabbits I raised when I was a child, and will whine aggressively at us until we feed her. Thankfully, she seems to enjoy eating our discards (strawberry tops, carrot and cucumber peels, apple cores, and broccoli stalks). And since I’m apparently not allergic to her, and since the boys are so enamored with her, I have a feeling she is here to stay.

Unfortunately, I think her name is here to stay, too. We tried to encourage the boys to think of a new name for her, after all, “What was the name of your first pet?” is a common security question, and I was therefore concerned about the possible repercussions of a wussy name like “Pinky” haunting the boys for the rest of their lives. After some brainstorming, Joshua had settled on the name “Creed,” Caleb wanted to call her “Cranberry,” and Moses said he thought she should be named “Tigger.” But as soon as the original owners told the boys that her name was Pinky, they embraced it. Oh well. Now you will know how to hack into their online accounts twenty years from now.