Does Coffee Make You Fat?

Moses, in tears because Joshua drank all of his water: "Joshua drink all my water! Joshua, you no drink all my water!"

Joe sings his original "Moses please don't scream" song.
Moses protests, "No! Don't sing that. I don't like that, Daddy."

Caleb, at the dinner table: "Mommy, you can't sleep while you are driving." For the record, I have never fallen asleep while driving. The "you" was a generality not specifically directed at me.

Moses, after stuffing a napkin in his mouth and then removing it: "You can't drink a napkin."

Joshua: "Mommy, I think you're getting really fat."
Me: "Oh really? Where am I getting fat?"
Caleb, while patting my hip: "In the hips, Mommy."

Moses, 23 months old, asking the most age-inappropriate question to date, after enjoying 2/3 of a grande coffee frappuccino: "[Does] coffee make you fat?"

Lately the boys have been obsessed with knowing which foods will make them fat. I knew we had to start being vigilant when Joshua told me that he no longer wanted to wear his jeans because they are too tight in the butt even though they still had plenty of length left in the leg. And no, they are not "skinny" jeans--they are relaxed fit! So when the boys wanted to know why they couldn't have a second bowl of cereal right before bedtime, I told them that eating too much cereal could make them get fat.

I'd read several years ago that cereal was possibly the most unhealthy "health" food on the market. I didn't think too much of it until I was pregnant with Moses and my blood sugar level registered unusually high at a prenatal visit which had been preceded by a breakfast of Special K Red Berries--a cereal marketed towards women who want to lose weight (which, needless to say, was not why I was eating it). My midwife (who is also a naturopathic doctor) went on to tell me that she suspects that breakfast cereal is largely responsible for America's obesity epidemic. And what would the twins eat morning, noon, and night, if I let them? Cereal. And we don't even buy "sugary" cereals. Even the "healthy" cereals such as Cheerios and Corn Flakes are loaded with sugar.

Anyway, ever since I talked to the twins about not going overboard with foods that could make them fat, they (and apparently now Moses, too) want to know whether or not each morsel they consume will make them fat. So if the boys tell you that you're getting fat, or if they tell you that what you're eating will make you get fat, you'll know not to take it personally!