Wary Wipers

We have been having the hardest time trying to convince the twins to wipe their own butts after they poop. With Kindergarten starting in less than a week, I am seriously concerned about their refusal to perform this simple task of personal hygiene. Moses, on the other hand, has attempted to wipe his own butt after pooping ever since I started harping on the twins, and after a failed first attempt that ended with a mound of non-flushable wipes in the toilet, he was actually semi-successful during yesterday's attempt. I admire Moses' willingness to at least try it, unlike his older brothers who are often so averse to trying new things, especially those that require them to become more self sufficient. They argue that they simply will never poop at Kindergarten, but I don't think they understand that they'll be at school, away from their butt-wiper of choice, for seven hours a day. Sometimes I feel like we're potty training all over again.

Unrelated but recently overheard:

Joshua, while putting together the United States puzzle: "Moses! You're messing up the 'Nited States. Why? WHY?"
Me: *Giggle*
Joshua, angrily: "Mommy! What's so funny?!"

Moses: "Mommy! Look at the geese!"
Me: "Where? That's not a goose. That's a pigeon."
Moses: "No! It's a GEESE!"
Me: "No, it's a pigeon. Come on, we need to go."
Moses, in a fit of rage: "NOOOO!"
Me: "Ok, it's a geese. Now let's just go."
Moses, calmly: "That's right. It's a geese. You only call it a geese, okay?"

Moses is 2.5 and Blueberry Escapes

Moses turned 2 and a half years old a few days ago while we were on vacation at the lake. When we asked him what he wanted for his half-birthday, he told us he wanted a candle and to have everyone sing to him. Since the actual celebration took place when we got home on my half birthday, Moses insisted that we light the candle for Mommy and have everyone sing to me, too. Caleb and Joshua hated this sort of attention when they were about Moses' age. I still remember Caleb running out of the room in terror when we started singing to him on his 3rd birthday. It's really funny to see how different these kids are.

Yesterday our big 2.5-year-old decided that he was going to start peeing in the potty without anyone's help. Moses took off his pants and underwear, lifted the toilet seat, peed, flushed, and washed his hands all by himself, not telling me what he'd done until after the fact. In effect, he is even more independent than his big brothers, who still insist that the bathrooms in our house are "scary" and always want to be escorted when doing their business. The only thing Moses needed help with was putting his underwear and shorts back on, but considering how much he likes being naked, he probably had little motivation to do so.

While on this topic, I might as well mention that Caleb is finally staying dry through the night. He went about 2-3 weeks without peeing in his Underjams, waking up to pee in the middle of the night a couple times. So he's been wearing underwear to bed ever since we got home from the lake, finally joining his twin brother who's been night-trained for well over a year now. As for Moses, even though he was waking to pee for a while, I decided to just put him in a diaper at bedtime so that I could get a good night's sleep. Hopefully he'll be able to re-learn to wake up when he has to pee when he's a little older and his bladder is a little bigger.

In other news, it looks like we've got an escape artist on our hands. Joe woke me up this morning to tell me that Blueberry, the white bunny, was outside on the sidewalk in front of our house! I decided to move the bunnies out onto the deck last night to put an end to the havoc they were wreaking on the porch. The astro turf carpet (which was honestly kind of gross to begin with) is now stained beyond repair, and in the past week or so, the bunnies have started gnawing away at the wood beams supporting the porch, as well as the door frames. Anyway, Blueberry must have jumped off the deck onto the ground, at least 8 or 9 feet below. He seems fine, and I am honestly amazed that he survived such a long fall. He started thumping angrily when I caught him and put him back on the porch. Thankfully, Cocoa had enough sense to stay on the porch, especially since it would have been much more difficult to spot a brown rabbit in the wild than a white one. While I'm tempted to lock them in the cage at night from now on for their own safety, part of me thinks that we should let the bunnies abide by the New Hampshire state motto, "live free or die".

Little Soliders

Overheard in our house over the past few days:

Me: "Look, Moses. The banana turns brown when you put it in the refrigerator."
Moses: "Like I turned brown!"

All three boys in unison: "Oh, I love Joseph of Arimathea!"

Joshua: "Oh, I love Jesus! I really just do love Jesus! He is my favorite man."

Moses: "I'm going to ride a horse and kill Indians with my sword. George Washington did that. He was a very, very good man."

That last quote was inspired by a recent visit to Mount Vernon with Mimi and Papa which included a movie that featured George Washington fighting in the French and Indian War. Mimi tried to shield Moses' eyes during the more graphic battle scenes, but he persistently evaded her and was completely entranced by the images of war, as were Caleb and Joshua. Ever since Joe came home with "hard swords" from the Variety Store, the boys have been proudly walking around with swords and sheaths stuck down their underwear or secured in makeshift belts made with Daddy's old neckties. They all like to sing the song, "I'm in the Lord's army, yes sir!" and Joshua has declared that he is going to be a solider when he grows up. Today when we were driving around Fort Belvoir he excitedly pointed out all the soldiers he saw walking around in uniform. His loud voice certainly would make him a pretty good drill sergeant!

Twins' First Trip to the Dentist

The twins had their first visit to the dentist last month. They were perfect angels and the dentist marveled at how cooperative they were while having their teeth examined and cleaned. He said they were the most laid-back kids he's ever worked on. When we went to have their cavities drilled and filled a couple weeks later, the dentist didn't need to use any anesthesia because the boys remained perfectly still the entire time, especially Caleb. I think the dentist was a little irritated that Joshua kept demanding, "Make it smoother! Make it smoother!" when he was polishing the filling, and said that he thought Joshua was destined to be a lawyer. I guess we can just add that the list of Joshua's career possibilities.

Ironically, one of the reasons I waited so long to take the twins to the dentist was because I imagined it'd be a total nightmare complete with screaming and handcuffs. I do think that their first visit to the dentist wouldn't have panned out nearly as well if I'd tried taking them when they were younger. Now that their receptive language skills have drastically improved, I was able to talk to them about the dentist ahead of time and make it sound like a wonderfully fun and exciting place, which they certainly thought it was.

The twins seemed to realize that their hygienists were a captive audience and didn't hesitate to talk up a storm before and after having their cavities filled. From the waiting room, I could hear them talking about Noah's Ark, Jesus, The Three Stooges, and a whole host of other topics. Afterwards, Caleb's hygienist asked me how old the twins are and was surprised when I told her that they are only five. She said she thought Caleb talked really well for a 5-year-old and couldn't believe it when I told her that they both had to attend a special ed preschool for speech and language. I guess they have made a lot of progress in the past couple years!

French Fry Beaver House & Becoming a Man on Sunday

Joe: "See you later, Joshua, I have to go to work now."
Joshua: "On Sunday I will become a man and then I will go to work."

Moses, handing me the artificially blue popsicle that he was so sure he would enjoy: "It's nasty."

Moses: "Mommy, stop. That's enough talking on the iPhone!"

Joshua: "When Moses gets a little older, then he will flap his hands."
Me: "No, Moses doesn't flap his hands, but you've been flapping since you were a baby."
Moses: "No! After I become a big kid, then I can flap my hands."

Me: "Good morning, Moses!"
Moses: "What are my brothers doing?"
(He is really going to miss them when they start school next month...)

Caleb and Joshua, singing to the tune of "Jesus Loves Me": "Yes, Cocoa loves me, yes Cocoa loves me..."

Moses, referring to a pile of french fries: "It's like a beaver's house. It's like sticks."

Moses: "I don't want a hot dog. I want carrots and hummus."

Caleb: "You can pray to God and and Caleb and Joshua..."
Joshua: "No! You can only pray to God."

Beautiful Kindergarten

I finally got around to registering Caleb and Joshua for Kindergarten this morning. The twins were apprehensive upon arrival, but began to warm up when they saw the big owl mural in the hallway and the portrait of George Washington in the office.

While we were in the office getting paperwork sorted out, Moses kept pointing to a sign in the hallway featuring the various sponsors of "Invention Camp" which was being held at the school. I didn't know what Moses was getting so excited about until we were on our way out of the building and he ran up to the sign, pointed to it, and said, "See, it's like at Daddy's work!" Sure enough, it was a black and white version of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office logo! I was pretty impressed that Moses recognized it.

On our way out to the car, I asked Joshua, "See, isn't kindergarten a nice place?" to which he replied, "Yes, I know it is beautiful, but I still don't like it." Hopefully he will change his mind once school starts next month. Meanwhile, the following conversation makes me think that Moses might enjoy a reprieve from his brothers' constant company (although in reality I know he is going to miss them terribly):

Moses: "How 'bout you stay here and I go upstairs and find my brothers."
Me: "What are you going to do when you find your brothers?"
Moses: "Scare them and hit them."