The Kindergarten Conundrum

September was a month of new beginnings, with the twins starting Kindergarten and Moses starting preschool. I am thankful to report that all three boys are thoroughly enjoying school. When the county decided to close schools on the fourth day of school on account of inclement weather, the boys were disappointed. The following Friday, when I told the boys that they wouldn't have to go to school for the next two days, Joshua exclaimed, "Oh no, but I'll miss school!" When I went to pick up Moses after his second day of preschool, he scowled at me and told me to go away. I suppose his classmates provide him with greater entertainment value than I do.

That said, I don't think I've been this exhausted since I had a newborn. Escorting three kids to and from two different schools, packing nutritious lunches, entertaining Moses in the absence of his brothers, and volunteering in three different classrooms have all proved to be quite exhausting. Meanwhile, multiple home improvement tasks are looming over our heads, dinner needs to be cooked and cleaned up after, the boys manage to make just as much mess in the few hours they're home in the evening as they did when they were home all day long (such as when they decided to paint their pumpkins with black paint yesterday), Joe has been working ridiculously long hours, and the bunnies keep pooping and trying to escape their porch prison. Every afternoon at around two clock, there is nothing I'd rather do than take a nap, but my non-napping 2-year-old always has other plans for me, such as pretending to be the bad guy that he repeatedly strikes down with a sword, or helping him build a barn for his horse. And to think that I had people asking me what I would do with all of my free time now that the twins would be in school all day!

Anyway, here are some things we've been hearing lately...

"Good eye, Mom. Good eye." -Joshua's trademark way of saying "Good idea, Mom. Good idea."

"Normally my mother pushes me four times." -Moses, letting his preschool teacher know that he was not satisfied with a mere three pushes on the swing.

"My butt swallowed the poop so that you wouldn't have to smell it." -Joshua, explaining why he didn't finish his business in the same bathroom in which I was taking a shower.

"Look, I'm a bunny." -Joshua, showing me the big fluffy wad of toilet paper stuck in his butt.

Me: "Don't go out in the front yard all by yourself. It's getting dark outside and you never know when there might be bad guys around."
Joshua: "Don't worry, Mom, I'll take my gun."
Me: "But your gun isn't real."
Joshua: "I know that bullets won't come out, but the bad guys will still see my gun and be afraid."

"Let's make a jack-o-lantern with triangle eyes, a square nose, and a banana mouth." - Caleb

Joe: "This horse is a Selle Francais."
Moses: "No! That's a thoroughbred!"
Joe: "No, it says it's a Selle Francais."
Moses, crying: "NO! THOROUGHBRED!"
Me: "I told him it was a thoroughbred because I didn't know how to pronounce Selle Francais."
Joe: "Ok, you're right, Moses, it's a thoroughbred."

Moses: "Let's pray."
Me: "But we already prayed. We can go ahead and eat."
Moses: "No, we need to pray again!"
Me: "Why?"
Moses: "My food is still too hot!"

"Daddy, first you need to move the snowman mug, and then you can get your cup out." -Moses, directing Joe on the best way to take a particular cup out of the cupboard.

"Mommy, I just washing my hands because I touched the bunnies. I washing Thomas, too. He is so clean now, shall you feel him?" -Moses

Photos and Weapons in Heaven

The following conversation took place today at breakfast:

Caleb: "When we get to Heaven, I will stand next to Caleb and Mommy will take a picture of me, ok, Mommy?"
Moses: "And I will stand next to Aaron!"
Me: "But remember, I won't have my camera because we can't take stuff with us to Heaven. We can only take our souls."
Joshua, excitedly: "Our swords?!"
Me: "No, you know... Our spirits."
Joshua, even more excited: "Our spears?!"

Shall

These days, Moses prefaces most of his suggestions and requests with "shall." I'm not sure where he picked it up, but it's kind of endearing. Here are a few examples:

Moses: "Mommy, shall you get some unna-wears for me? I naked."
Me: "OK, I'll get you some underwear."
Moses: "But no pantses. Only unna-wears, ok?"

Moses: "Mommy, shall I have some honey on my bread?"
Me: "No, you already have jam. You don't need honey, too."
Moses: "But jam is not my best friend. I need some honey, ok?"

Moses: "Are those birds bad guys?"
Me: "I guess so."
Moses: "Shall we shoot them?"