Tale of a Third First-Trimester

I can't believe Summer is almost over! Here's a quick rundown of what's been going on:

After Moses finished his first year of preschool, he attended two weeks of camp and one week of VBS. Caleb and Joshua finished Kindergarten, completed their first season of summer league swim team, and attended three weeks of VBS. While not attending these activities, the boys have enjoyed swimming in our backyard pool and watching Gospel Bill, Winnie the Pooh, Ice Age, and the Olympics (the boys thought the object of volleyball was to hit other players with the ball and make them fall over, and they erupted in laughter every time this appeared to happen), interspersed with the compulsory completion of a worksheet or two. While the twins whined and complained about having to write a couple sentences and scrawl a rudimentary illustration, Moses has been busier than ever creating an endless stream of self-initiated art projects. Our dining room table is constantly littered with scraps of paper, markers, crayons, scissors, tape, and staples. I think we need to get him his own studio, or maybe at least his own desk so that we can more easily use our dining table for its intended purpose.

I'm glad that we had swim practice and VBS to force us to get out of the house, because otherwise we probably would have just stayed home all day and the boys would've gotten absolutely no social interaction or exercise all summer long. As it turns out, I am expecting baby #4 and my morning-sickness was exponentially more severe than it ever was when I was pregnant with Moses or even the twins. Actually, it was so bad (my doctor offered me a nausea prescription, which I declined), and at one point I was measuring so large (we know it wasn't due to overeating because I could barely keep anything down), that my doctor suspected I was having twins and ordered an ultrasound. So at around 11 weeks we found out that it's just one perfectly healthy baby, which was either a huge relief or a slight disappointment, depending on who you ask!

In the throes of my first trimester misery, I passed the days glued to the couch or hovering over a toilet while the boys learned to fend for themselves. I'm proud to say that they now know how to use the toaster oven and microwave. And I am forever grateful to my mom who cooked dinner for us several days a week during this ordeal, so that we didn't have to subsist solely on Subway's tuna fish subs (one of the few things that appealed to me) and take-out pizza. I literally could not bring myself to cook dinner for two and a half months. One time my mom brought dinner over, only to find me curled up on the hallway floor outside the bathroom, half-clothed, with Caleb sitting beside me reading me a Dr. Seuss book and trying to coax me to drink water. She said I reminded me of herself when she was pregnant with me.

Many other women I know who have children of both genders also testified that their morning-sickness was much worse when they were pregnant with their daughter, so I was convinced that a miniature baby girl must be responsible for my suffering, and at times the prospect of a daughter kept me plugging along on days when I felt truly afflicted. But as the date of my ultrasound grew closer, and as I began to feel better at around 15 weeks, I wondered if my intuition might be wrong and we might be having another boy. I did marry a Wolf, after all, and Wolfs don't tend to produce much in the way of female offspring.

So before the ultrasound technician even said anything about the baby's gender, I could see the evidence myself while she measured the baby's thigh bones. After three boys, I guess we've been through this often enough to know what to look for. I just laughed. Honestly, I was slightly relieved. At this point, a girl child would be a mystery to me. And practically speaking, another boy will be more affordable since we have everything we need in the way of clothes and toys, and he and Moses will be able to share a bedroom when they're older. An added bonus (for me) is that I will be able to continue to defer to Joe when someone has a bathroom emergency in a public place. And best of all, encouraging friends have assured us that God must have great confidence in our ability to raise godly men.

Some quotes from this summer...

"Mom, mirage rhymes with garage!" -Moses

"Mommy, Rockette is brown just like me! She's brown like me!" - Moses

"I only want one baby, so I can have a twin. If you have two babies, then I won't have a twin." -Moses

Me: "Joshua, you got a little sunburned today. Your cheeks are pink!"
Joshua: "I know, but it's ok. God will make me peach again."

"When I become a grown-up I'm going to go to Norway and live in town. I'll live in town like John Marsten. But I will need a heavy coat and a face mask so that my eyelashes don't get frozen." -Caleb

Joshua: "Ohhh, what a furry baby!"
Moses: "I am not furry! Only animals are furry."

Joshua: "Ohhh, baby!"
Moses: "Mom, Joshua is fawning me." 

"Mommy, when I was a little baby I saw some water in your belly and I just dranked it. I was very thirsty. And I swimmed in your belly when I was drinking some water. It was fun in Mommy's belly. Yeah, it was very fun." -Moses

"Mommy, when I was in your belly it was very dark and I could see your skeleton. It was scary in Mommy's belly." -Moses

"Moses, don't be like Piglet. You need to have faith." -Joshua, when Moses was afraid of the dark

"Don't worry, maybe God can turn your hair black again." -Joshua's response to Mimi's new head of gray hair.

Something is Growing Inside of Me

I did my best to transcribe the conversation I had with the boys earlier this summer when I first told them that we were going to have another baby:

Joshua: Mommy, why do you feel sick all the time?

Me: Because something is growing inside of me.

Caleb: Is it a banana?

Joshua: Is it a tomato plant? (Context: we had recently planted tomato plants in the garden).

Me: Not quite. It's something that's alive.

Caleb: A snake? (Context: he had recently been slightly traumatized by the sight of a big black snake in the front yard).

Joshua: Cucumber plants? (Context: we had recently planted cucumber plants).

Caleb: What color is it?

Me:  Probably peach

Caleb: An orange?

Joshua: A pineapple? Is it brown?

Me: Maybe brown or peach.

Joshua: Coconut?

Caleb: An apricot? A peach?

Joshua: Ginger? Ginger cookies? (Context: candied ginger and ginger cookies, which are supposed to suppress nausea, were among the few things the boys witnessed me eating in those days).

Caleb: A tree?

Joshua: Strawberry plants? (Context: the boys had recently helped me plant a bunch of strawberry plants).

Me: What grows inside of bellies?

Caleb: A little baby? (I nodded my head). Are you kiddin?

Joshua: Is it fake or is it real?

Caleb: Are you sure?

Joshua: Will it be Moses' twin?

Caleb: Moses! Mommy has a baby in her belly!

Joshua: What should we call him? Kevin? John?

Moses: Probably I want to call him Giddyup

Caleb: I think it will be a girl

Moses: I want to have a sister.

Joshua: I only want to have brothers.

Caleb: Where will the baby sleep? In bed with Mommy?

Me: Yes.

Caleb: Where will Moses sleep?

Me: In your room.

Moses: My sister will sleep in my bed?

Caleb: Moses, you will sleep in our room.

Moses: I will, for my sister. (Moses started sleeping in his brothers' room soon afterwards, but not until after he back-pedaled on his kind words and vehemently protested the arrival of a person smaller than himself)!

States Mania... or should I say, Maine-ia?

The twins, especially Caleb, have become utterly obsessed with states, as in the United States. Thanks to an iPhone app called "Stack the States", and the fact that they can now both read, they probably have more extensive knowledge of states, their capitals, landmarks, and where they are located in relation to each other, than most adults, let alone their fellow 6-year-olds. For example, they know that Charleston is the capital of West Virginia, that Pennsylvania is the Keystone State, that HI is the abbreviation for Hawaii, that Arizona shares a border with Nevada, and that the Space Needle is in Washington. They can identify all of the states by shape, and can even distinguish all those similar-looking big boxy states out west. Moses has taken up a residual interest in states, too, and regularly reminds us that his favorite state is Oregon. Caleb says that when he grows up he wants to be a solider so that the Army will send him to live in lots of different states, since we quickly shot down his initial proposal that our family of five board an airplane to visit all of the far-away states.

As an extension of their obsession with states, looking for non-Virginia license plates has become the boys' new favorite pastime. Every car ride, whether it's a quick jaunt to the neighborhood pool or a lengthy 3-hour road trip, is peppered with constant loud exclamations such as, "Oh look, I see Maryland!" and "That car is from New Hamster!" Despite pointing out to the boys multiple times that Maryland cars are nearly as ubiquitous as Virginia cars since it's right across the river, they still beam with excitement at the sight of a Maryland license plate. And living in a neighborhood with a strong military presence, the boys have had the joy of seeing Alaska, South Dakota, Florida, Texas, and Vermont plates on a daily basis. The boys get particularly excited in anticipation of seeing a non-Virginia plate when they observe that a car that doesn't have a license plate on the front bumper, since we explained to them that Virginia law requires a license plate in the front and back of the vehicle. Our road trip to West Virginia last weekend to attend Joe's cousin's wedding was a non-stop, very loud barrage of "Oh look! I see a car that's..." Once we crossed the state line, Joshua speculated that  West Virginian children would see our van and say, "Oh look, I see Virginia car!"

"Saux" pas

Ever since the weather started warming up, Caleb has insisted on pairing his shorts with brightly-colored socks pulled half-way up his calves. Horrified, I have attempted to correct his fashion faux pas by begging and pleading with him to wear ankle socks instead, but to no avail.

On Friday afternoon I arrived at the twins' school about half an hour early for pick-up, so Moses and I just hung out in the car and watched a class of 6th-graders play kickball for a while. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that about half of the 6th-grade boys were wearing colorful socks pulled halfway up their calves! A wave of shame swept over me as I realized that I had inadvertently tried to thwart Caleb's attempts to be "cool". As a relatively young mom (with a pretty good fashion sense of my own, if I must say so myself), I assumed that I would always be somewhat cognizant of the trends of my boys' generation, but apparently I've already started to lose touch. I guess I need to observe the 6th graders at recess more often. Or maybe I just need to watch more iCarly...

On an unrelated note, as I'm sitting here typing this, the boys and Joe are playing WWE Smackdown on the Gamecube. Within the span of a few minutes, Moses has legitimately corrected his older brothers twice:


Caleb: Did that bad guy losed?
Moses: No, that bad guy lost.


Joshua: I'm so glad we have this movie!
Moses: It's not a movie, it's a video game.

Little Sluggers & Our Community Organizer

The twins are doing much better at T-ball this season. I think that having a year of experience under their belts, plus an extra year of maturity, has definitely helped. And speaking of belts, it also probably helps that this year we bought them real baseball pants and belts, too. The belts aren't even real baseball belts like the ones their teammates wear, but the boys haven't seemed to notice or care. If it looks remotely like the belt Daddy wears to work, it must be cool. Even though they hate tucking shirts into their pants, they are willing to do so when they're wearing their Yankees uniforms, since it'd be a shame not to show off such a classy accessory.

Unlike last year, in which you might recall Caleb refused to participate in his first game and was therefore excluded from a post-game outing to Roy Roger's, this year the boys look forward to practices and games and you can actually see them smiling while they're batting, running, and even playing the infield. The outfield remains an unpopular outpost, but who can blame them, since the ball rarely travels that far. And whereas last year the boys basically ignored all balls that were hit or thrown in their vicinity, this year they chase after them aggressively. We knew we'd come a long way when, at their second game of the season, Caleb got up to bat and their coach warned the other team that he's a "big hitter." Upon realizing that our boys might actually have some potential at this sport, this past week we made a point to practice batting and throwing with them in the back yard, and despite Moses launching into a screaming fit every time one of his brothers caught a ball that he felt entitled to possess, it has really paid off. At last night's game, Joshua smacked a ball into the outfield. Way to go, boys!

And let's not forget about Moses. He enjoys batting and throwing with his plastic bat and ball, too. Baseball actually seems to come quite naturally to him, as he just appears to know how to achieve the perfect stance and form, sans instruction. I think one reason is because he pays attention so well when his brothers' coach is working with the older boys. His opportunity to play T-ball next year as a 4-year-old can't come soon enough.

In the meantime, Moses stays busy drawing, picking flowers for Mommy, building "fire places" with sticks, and looking for his "sweetie birdies." At his parent-teacher conference last week, his teacher asked if she could clone him. It was no surprise that she said that his fine motor skills are outstanding for his age, but what I didn't know is that he's taken upon the role of being an "organizer" in the classroom. I asked her if that was a nice way of saying that he's bossy, since I know he has those tendencies, and she said that no, he actually keeps his classmates organized in a very peaceful manner. For example, she said that if the toy parking garage is out on the floor during free play, Moses does a very good job keeping track of who was playing with which car, and if someone snatches a car from someone else, he will insist that they return it to its rightful owner before anyone resorts to violence, crying, or tattling. She said she doesn't have to worry about the children fighting as long as Moses is overseeing the operation. Seeing that he is such a gifted "community organizer," I think it's safe to say that Moses is already well-qualified to be President of the United States. Whether or not he pursues a career in politics, he's certainly shaping up to be a strong leader, just like his Biblical namesake.

And since I managed to skip the entire month of April, I have quite a compilation of thing the boys have been saying over the past month:

"Ow! I hurt my head. Don't kiss it." - Moses

"Don't eat too much! I don't want my mom to be hyper." -Moses admonishing me not to eat too many jellybeans.

Moses, wearing a Santa hat: "I'm hungry."
Joe: "You're already hungry, Moses?"
Moses: "I'm not Moses, I'm Santa. Say, 'are you hungry, Santa?' Yes, I am." 
Joe: "What are you hungry for, Santa?"
Moses: "Candy canes."

Moses, being contrary: "What is Larry's last name?"
Me: "I don't know, maybe it's Cucumber?"
Moses: "No, it's not. His name is Larry Cucumber."

Joshua: "Look, that person has four dogs!"
Me: "Four dogs? That's crazy."
Joshua: "I don't know why some people just want to have a-plenty of dogs."

Moses: "Ohh, look. It's my sweetie birdie. Hi, sweetie birdie."

Moses, yelling from the porch loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear: "PRAISE THE LORD!"
Me: "What are you praising the Lord about?"
Moses: "Cocoa's fur growed back. Praise the Lord!"

Joshua: "Is it turtle season yet?"
Me: "It sure is."
Joshua: "Oh, I'm so glad it's turtle season! I like to catch some turtles."

While getting ready to disembark the Metro at Woodley Park/Zoo, after repeatedly telling the boys our destination...
Caleb: "Where are we going? Are we going home?"
Moses, clearly annoyed: "What do you think?! We are going to the zoo!"

Joshua: "I love Mommy better than toys."

Caleb: "Thank you, Mommy, you're the best woman!"

Kale Lovers and Naughty Presidents

Lately Caleb has been very preoccupied with what size clothes he is wearing. He reasons that since he is 6 years old, he should only wear size 6, 6/7, or S(6/7). A few weeks ago I bought him an Angry Birds shirt and a Lego Star Wars shirt. My little fashion icon was bursting at the seams and couldn't wait to wear them until he checked the tags and discovered that they would in fact not burst at the seams if he wore them. Silly me, I should have known better than to buy my tall six-year-old a size M(8) shirt. And so the shirts hang, unworn and forlorn, in the boys' closet.

Caleb also insists on folding up his sleeves if they even so slightly cross the threshold of his wrists. This morning as he was getting dressed, I thought I'd appeal to his tendency to pay attention to aesthetic detail and pointed out that if he folded his sleeves as usual, the NFL logo of his Redskins sweatshirt would be covered. I thought this might be a good way to convince him not to fold his sleeves, since they honestly were not too long and looked kind of ridiculous folded. After agonizing over this dilemma for a couple minutes, Caleb figured out that he could instead tuck his sleeves inward, thereby not obstructing his view of the NFL logo. And it's not that he really cares about the NFL or even knows what it is. You see, today was "Sports Team Spirit Day" at school, which is why I had them wear their Redskins sweatshirts for the first time, and when I asked them if they knew what sport the Redskins play, Joshua was at a complete loss and Caleb hesitantly guessed "basketball". I guess this is what happens to boys whose fathers couldn't care less about professional sports (not that I'm complaining)!

In other news, Caleb and Joshua have recently become obsessed with knowing which presidents of the United States were good and which ones were naughty. While Joe and I have been able to offer relatively educated judgements about the moral integrity of the founding fathers as well as the presidents who have served during the past 80 years or so, we have been at a loss when the boys ask us whether James Polk and Rutherford B. Hayes were good or naughty. The boys have a U.S. Presidents book that they like to consult in their quest to determine the goodness or naughtiness of each president, but the internet has also proven to be helpful. I was amused to overhear the following conversation between the twins a couple days ago:

Joshua: "Was JFK a naughty president or a good president?"
Caleb: "He was naughty."
Joshua: "Why was he naughty?"
Caleb: "Because he was not faif-ful to his wife."
Joshua: "John-John and Caroline's daddy was not faif-ful? Oh, that's too bad."
Caleb: "Yeah, and Bill Clinton was not faif-ful to his wife, either. Hey Mommy, what does 'faif-ful' mean?"

So if you were to ask the boys which presidents were naughty and which were good, they would probably tell you that George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, and the George Bushes were good guys. They'd tell you that Harry Truman, JFK, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton were naughty. And that Jimmy Carter was not necessarily naughty, but that he just made some stupid decisions. I'll refrain from passing judgement on our current commander-in-chief, although I'm sure the boys would be happy to offer their humble opinions if you'd care to ask them.

Moses, meanwhile, has been too busy drawing and writing to care about presidents. When I pick him up from school, he begs me to take him home so he can draw. He'll say, "Mommy, I want to go home and draw you a picture because I love you". Recent drawings have portrayed cowboys riding horses, flowers, our house, our new van, and carrots growing in a garden being eaten by the Easter bunny. I'm reluctant to say this, but his drawings are actually probably better than those of one of his older brothers (who shall remain nameless), probably because in his 3 short years he's dedicated more time to drawing than his brother who is twice as old as him. Whoever said practice makes perfect wasn't kidding.

And now for a few quotes...

Uncle Charles: "Branden! You can't run around in the parking lot! That car almost hit you!"
Moses, gesticulating sternly: "That wasn't a car. It was a truck."

Joshua, after he refused to participate in swim practice without his twin, who was at home sick: "I'm sorry I didn't swim, Mommy, I made a mistake. I'm so sorry, sweet Mommy. It's all my fault, I won't do it again."

Caleb: "Mommy, you are the best cooker because you just made me kale!"
Joshua: "Can I have some more kale?
Moses: "I love kale!"

Moses: "I see a fallabella! It's so small and cute."
Me: "Yeah, it's small and cute just like you, Moses!"
Moses: "No, I am big!"

Me: "Maybe we should give away the bunnies. They're so destructive."
Boys: "Noooo!"
Me: "We could get a pet fish instead."
Boys: "Ok! Yaaaay!"
Caleb: "Or maybe we could get a gun instead of a fish."
Boys: "YAAAAAY!"

Our St. Patrick's Day Splurge

Some people have been puzzled by how we've managed to survive as a family of 5 in a 5-passenger car for the past three years. Since it seems like a lot of folks buy a minivan as soon as they find out they're expecting baby #2, I guess it might seem odd that we held out for so long. Honestly, it didn't really become an issue until the twins graduated to booster seats about a year ago. Whenever I took the boys somewhere in the car, I had to block out an extra 5 minutes dedicated exclusively to fishing around in the narrow crevice between the booster seat and Moses' carseat in a frustrating attempt to buckle the their seat belt one-handed. Times two.

So when Joe's friend and fellow guitar-player on the church worship team announced that his wife was expecting their third child a couple months ago, Joe decided that it'd be nice if we could give them the Santa Fe, a considerable step up from the 20-something-year-old Camry that his wife was currently driving. Their baby is due in August, so we figured we had all Summer to find a nice used van that fit our budget to replace the Santa Fe.

Then while we were visiting Granny and Babo over St. Patrick's Day weekend, they offered to watch the boys while we went out for a test-drive or two. It seemed like a good idea since neither of us had ever been behind the wheel of our top two contenders- the Odyssey and the Sienna. We assured the boys that we were just going to look at cars, and that we certainly would not buy one that day. Upon arriving at the Honda dealership, we soon found ourselves test-driving a souped-up 2010 Odyssey, but balked in discouragement when we learned the price. It just seemed like a lot of money for a used vehicle. Next, we looked at a 2012 Odyssey that cost slightly less than the 2010, but didn't have leather seats. My sincere attempt to be open-minded could not overcome the fact that I'd had my heart set on leather seats for the longest time. All of our couches are leather, and for good reason- I can only imagine the amount of destruction that three boys would wreak on fabric upholstery.

So, we cut to the chase and told the head honcho at the dealership to show us the cheapest 2012 Odyssey with leather seats that they had. He asked us what color we wanted, and I told him we didn't care about the color, all we wanted was leather seats and a low price. So he said, how about this one, and gestured toward the showroom model right beside us. "Sure," we said. What I didn't tell him was that it was the exact same Smoky Topaz color that I'd picked out on Honda's website when I "built my own" Odyssey online just for fun a few weeks earlier!

We were so unprepared to buy a car that day that amid negotiations, Joe had to leave the dealership and drive to the nearest branch of our bank and use the ATM to check the balance in our checking account so we'd know exactly how much we could put down. In the end, they offered to sell us the brand new showroom model, with leather interior and only 5 miles on the odometer, for the same price as the used 2010, which was nearly $4K less than MSRP. With the monthly payments working out to be just a little more than what we were saving each month from our recent mortgage refinance, we were sold!

The boys have been just as excited about our new van as we are. Caleb has written about our new van in his journal almost every day at school since we got it, each day discussing a new feature, such as its 8 seats or the fact that it is "zero years old". They fight over who gets to push the buttons that open and close the doors, and get a big kick out of talking to Daddy on the phone via the van's bluetooth technology. The salesman had assured us that the person on the other end would only be able to hear front-seat passengers, but our boys are apparently a loud exception.

At first we installed Moses' carseat in the middle row and the twins' booster seats in the back row, but Moses sulked and begged to sit next to his brothers. We thought he might enjoy a reprieve from being flanked by his big brothers in tight quarters, but apparently not. One of the countless nice things about the 2012 Odyssey is that the middle row of seats can be adjusted not only front to back, but also side to side. So we now have all three boys across the middle row of seats, and there is plenty of room in between each seat for the twins to buckle themselves in. So now, a task that used to consume 5 minutes every time we got in the car takes me no time at all because the boys can do it themselves! And in the mornings as we're heading out the door to school, the boys can open the sliding doors with the push of a button from inside the house. I used to give them the Santa Fe key and tell them to go unlock the car and get in, hoping that they wouldn't lose the keys somewhere between the house and the car, and if the keys did make it to the car, that no one would get knocked in the head by a swinging car door. As you can imagine, our mornings are much less stressful now.

And as fond as we are of our new Odyssey, parting with the trusty Santa Fe was bittersweet. It was the first car that we'd purchased together as a married couple after Joe's Taurus drowned in Hurricane Isabel. It had been with us through four moves and brought home our three babies. And it really was in good shape, with 100K miles down, and according to other 2003 Santa Fe owners, at least 100K more miles to go. But any sadness that we might have felt was washed away on Monday evening when we saw the huge grin sweep across our friend's face as she drove it away into the sunset.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Moses! And a Bunny Massacre

Moses is 3 years old! In the past year, Moses has learned to use the potty (he even wipes his own butt), he taught himself how to swim, and most recently, he's even figured out how to legibly write his name. He's a smart kid, and he knows it. His precociousness has enabled him to elude many of the disciplinary toils that his older brothers endured when they were his age. For example, one day last week I told Moses to do something, and he defiantly replied, "no!" When I scolded him for saying "no" to me, his countenance softened and he calmly retorted, "I didn't say 'no', I said 'I know'". Then, instead of correcting him for lying like I should have, I found myself speechless, marveling at his quick and clever manipulation of the English language. His language-delayed older brothers, on the other hand, used to stubbornly (and silently) ignore my requests until I spanked them for the 100th time. The twins have turned out to be sweet boys, though. I hope I'll be able to say the same for Moses when he is the twins' age!

Moses celebrated his actual birthday by staying home all day with Mommy and his brother Caleb who was suffering from an ear infection. I had hoped to do something fun with him while his brothers were at school, but watching movies, drawing pictures, and eating popsicles proved to be a pretty fun day after all. Then he and Joshua went to Mimi and Papa's house while I stayed home and rested with Caleb. The next day, we had a small celebration of February birthdays with Mimi, Papa, and Sooja Emo, where Moses enjoyed popping kim baps into his little mouth to his heart's content. Then this past weekend, we threw Moses a horse-themed birthday party with some of his preschool-aged friends. As it turns out, non-girly horse-themed party decorations are pretty hard to come by, so I found myself tracing and cutting gender neutral horses into the wee hours of the morning in the nights leading up to the party. It was a labor of love for my little horse-lover.

Looking back over the past year, I remembered a couple of little things that I'd forgotten to write about. This past Fall, when Moses was a little over 2 and a half years old, he and I were on the trampoline in the back yard when suddenly he burst into tears and exclaimed, "Oh no! Somebody killed all these bunnies!" Confused, I asked him what on earth he was talking about, and he scooped up a handful of little brown, fuzzy balls. I think they were seed pods of some sort that had fallen from an overhead tree, but in Moses' eyes, they were obviously baby bunny tails. Sure enough, copious amounts of little fuzzy balls were scattered all over the trampoline, so from his 2-year-old perspective, it appeared to be the scene of a bunny massacre. I assured him that no bunnies were harmed in the production of these little brown fuzz balls, but Moses continued to insist that they were "bunny tails" all season long.

Also during the Fall months, Moses collected lots of double acorn tops--just the tops that were missing the nuts, if that makes sense. He called them "angels", presumably because they resembled angels' wings, and frequently presented them to me as gifts, proudly saying, "here Mommy, I got an angel for you!" I'd forgotten about Moses' angels until recently when I found one in the basket where I keep my hair dryer. So sweet.

In the last couple months leading up to his birthday, Moses started to take an avid interest in drawing. Like his big brother Caleb (who has actually eased off from his artistic pursuits as of late), Moses spends most of his free time drawing. When he holds a pencil, his grip is impeccable--I don't think the twins held a pencil so well until they were at least 5 and a half. Moses' impressive fine motor skills have enabled him to produce an ever-increasing portfolio of representational art. They are rarely simple still-life drawings, though. Moses' drawings tend to tell a story, and he will often narrate the story aloud as he draws it. For example, today I overheard him singing a made-up song: "Noah's ark, Noah's ark, Noah's ark..." so I looked over and saw that he was drawing Noah's ark. Then he picked up a blue marker and began singing, "Here come the waves, the bad guys are drowning, here come the waves..." while drawing chaotic, sweeping blue waves beneath the ark, over top of the "bad guys".

Somewhere along the way, Moses developed a habit of folding up his drawings into little wads of paper which he calls "gift-day cards", which I believe he contrived as a cross between "gift" and "birthday cards". He'll say, "I made a gift-day card for me and all my friends". I have been trying to gently convince him not to fold his beautiful artwork into these little wads, so lately he's compromised by folding them just once, calling them "books," and then asking us to read his "books" to him. If I'm lucky, I'll pluck a particularly impressive drawing away from him before he transforms it into a "gift-day card" or a "book", and will convince him that it's best suited unfolded, taped prominently to the dining room wall or hanging on the fridge.

Hey Mommy, Daddy got a new woman!

Moses: "Hey Mommy, Daddy got a new woman!"
Me: "What? Where is she? I'm gonna beat her up."
Moses: "No, Mommy. She is not on the Earth. She is on the iPhone."
Moses was referring to the "Temple Run" game on my iPhone, in which Joe recently bought a new female character.

Moses, looking at a picture of us at the beach: "Mommy carried Moses because I didn't want to fell in the water because it was so so so frickin big and so so so frickin cold."

Moses: "Mommy, I can reach!"
Me: "Wow, Moses, you turned on the faucet all by yourself without standing on the stool? You're getting so tall!"
Moses: "Yeah, I'm so frickin tall."

Me: "There must be something better to do than play Temple Run on the iPhone all day long."
Joe: "Ok, let's go to Ikea."
Boys: "Yay!"
Joshua: "What's Ikea?"
Joe: "It's is a magical place of whimsy."
Joshua: "Oh, I love whimsy!"

Last week Caleb brought home a Kipper book from the library and when he started to read it, he asked me, "Why does it say 'Tiger' instead of 'Ti-gah'?"

Moses, admiring my swimsuit coverup: "Mommy, you look so cute! You look like a princess!"

Joe: "What was your favorite part of our vacation?"
Caleb: "The bedroom!"
Joshua: "The waterpark!"
Moses: "Eating at Chick-fil-a!"

Joshua: "Mommy, I will take care of Caleb." Joshua was so upset and in tears when we temporarily lost Caleb at the waterpark. The prospect of losing him truly broke his heart, and when we finally found him after 15 minutes (that felt like 15 hours), Joshua solemnly vowed that he would "take care of" his twin brother from now on, and ever since then he's been extremely concerned about keeping our family close together and not losing any of us whenever we go out somewhere. For example, yesterday at church Joshua wandered around for about 10 minutes holding my coat and purse, crying because he couldn't find me. It turned out I was sitting at the very next table. Sweet Joshua.

Moses vs. The Croup

One night a few weeks ago Moses went to bed without eating dinner, then woke up at around 2 AM with a high fever, barking like a seal in between labored gasps for air. Every time he breathed in, his chest became alarmingly concave in. I had never experienced anything like this with the twins, and was honestly pretty scared. It didn't help that I had been up sick for much of the night with a case of food poisoning. Joe and I wondered if we should take him to the ER, but since we're the kind of people who go to the hospital only as a very last resort (especially at 2 AM in the middle of winter), we just held Moses, prayed like we've never prayed before, and coaxed him to take a few licks of a popsicle before he drifted back to sleep.

In the morning Joe called and left a message with our doctor, who later called back, and upon hearing my explanation of Moses' symptoms, determined that he had croup. He first suggested we try a homeopathic phosphorus treatment, but when I described the way Moses had been listlessly laying on the couch all morning with no interest in playing or even watching TV, the doctor urged us to go ahead and take him to urgent care. Moses actually perked up a little on the way to urgent care, because apparently cold air is good for the croup. Once we arrived, Moses was given a nebulizer treatment. At first he resisted and cried, but upon realizing that the nebulizer made him feel better, he relinquished his fight and decided to cooperate. After we'd been at urgent care all afternoon, the doctor decided that we should play it safe and continue on to the hospital for the night.

So we drove home, packed our bags in anticipation of an overnight stay, and dropped the twins off at Mimi and Papa's house. By this point it was about 5 PM and big fat flakes of snow had been showering down steadily all afternoon. Naturally, traffic was a nightmare, and we had to go all the way to Fairfax Hospital since Alexandria doesn't have a pediatric unit. When we finally arrived, Moses settled into his room and enjoyed watching Madagascar from his bed while doctors and nurses gave him steroids, Tylenol, Motrin, another nebulizer treatment, and a popsicle. We were so thankful when they told us we were free to go home that evening at around 9 o'clock. Moses slept soundly that night, and when he woke up the next morning, he ate an entire slice of toast slathered with peanut butter and jam. He normally doesn't even like peanut butter, but his brothers had left this behind at breakfast and I guess Moses was so hungry that he was willing to eat the first thing he could get his hands on. I was so happy to see him eating again that I just sat there and savored watching him savor every bite.

Before this ordeal, I had been totally unfamiliar with croup, thinking it sounded like one of those old-fashioned ailments from the days of yore, but apparently it's quite common among children under age 5. We found out from Granny that both Joe and Uncle Patrick suffered from frequent bouts with the croup when they were little, and the diagnosis paperwork from the urgent care office informed us that croup is an ailment that tends to run in the family. So between this brush with the croup and Moses' episode with the hydrocele when he was a newborn, I guess it's safe to say that Moses did inherit some of his genetic material from his Daddy's side of the family after all! ;-)

Daddy, why did God make your hair fall out?

Overheard in the Wolf household in the past month or so...

Moses, watching me wrap Christmas gifts: "Who's that present for?"
Joe: "It's probably for someone whom Mommy loves very much."
Moses: "Is it for Jesus?"

"Oh my gosh, guys, Caleb probably needs to burp." -Caleb

Joshua, asking about Mr. Popper's Penguins: "Does this movie have people in it?"
Joe: "Yeah."
Joshua: "Then I don't think I will like it. I only like movies that have animals."
Joe: "But this movie has penguins in it."
Joshua: "Are the penguins in Antarctica?"
Joe: "No, I think they're in New York City."
Joshua: "I only like movies about penguins that are in Antarctica."

Joshua: "When I grow up, I will become a man and then I will find a woman to be my wife. Maybe Hana will be my wife. Then Hana will have a baby in her belly and I will be his Daddy and you will be his Mimi and Daddy will be his Babo."

Me: "What did your teachers talk about at school today?"
Caleb: "We talked about Martin Luther King!"
Me: "Oh, wow! Who was Martin Luther King?"
Caleb: "He was brown. I colored his face brown."
Me: "Ok, and what did he do?"
Caleb: "I don't know."
Joshua: "He had really short hair."

Joshua: "I ate lunch with Jory and Keira today."
Caleb: "Jory? I think she looks kind of Korean."
Me: "Yeah, I guess she might be Korean.
Caleb: "Like Mimi and Yoojin and Yejin."
Me: "That's right. You boys are a quarter Korean, you know?"
Joshua: "Does Korean mean our skin is just a little yellow and brown?"

Joe, talking to the twins: "I'll give the iPhone to the first boy who can tell me what 3 plus 3 equals."
Moses: "six!"
Joe: "I guess Moses gets the iPhone."

Me: "Would you want to have another brother?"
Moses: "Yes. I want a baby sister and a baby brother. And then there will be five brothers."
To give you some context, Joe and I had just been talking about large families, and how people we know who come from large families seem to enjoy having many siblings despite the sacrifices their families had to make to accommodate them. So, we asked the boys their opinion on the matter, and this is what Moses said. By "brothers" we are sure that he meant "siblings", a word he is not yet familiar with. Anyway, we are pretty impressed with his quick mental math skills.

Joshua: "Daddy, when did your hair fall out?
Joe: "It started to fall out in college."
Joshua: "But why did God make your hair fall out?"
Joe: "I don't know."
Joshua: "Maybe so that Mommy would think that you looked nice and good."
Joe: "Yeah, it did work, didn't it?"

The Snowman Wus Shivrring

I have quite a backlog of quotes from the past month:

"Samson ate lots of healthy food and became really strong". -Joshua

"No thank you Caleb, I don't wanna get fat". -Moses, politely declining a snack.

"No, Owen, Santa Claus is just a character. He's not real". -Moses, correcting his big brothers' friend's claim that Santa would come down his chimney. I quickly intervened and assured Owen that Moses was mistaken.

"Look, I drew a bat and a ice cream cone for my parents. Look, Mom, your son drew this for you." -Moses, showing me his artwork.

"Oh, praise God, Joshua! You drew a very nice snowman. That's a very good job!" -Caleb

"Ding ding ding! I made my snowman". -Joshua

"This place is very impressive!" -Joshua, upon arriving at the Christmas Tree farm.

"I had a bad dream about a peanut butter pizza that turned into an animal and started chasing me." -Joshua, in a state of consternation just after waking up.

"Is this soup?" - Joshua, referring to his Thanksgiving school lunch of turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes smothered in gravy.

"I want a baby sister. I have too many brothers." -Moses, wishfully thinking.

"And a very, very, very metal tree." -Caleb and Joshua's interpretation of "And a partridge in a pear tree."

"See the green Christmas trees, growing up the pine. See the green Christmas trees, this one will be mine." -Joshua's seasonally appropriate version of a song they learned in school: "See the yellow pumpkins, growing on the vine. See the yellow pumpkins, this one will be mine."

Of course, this is just a tiny sampling of the billions of things the boys say each day. Moses talks so much when it's just me and him at home during the day that I sometimes want to just tell him to be quiet! Since the twins had language delays and were relatively reticent 2-year-olds, I am not accustomed to all of this talking, and it honestly wears on my introverted self. I've even resorted to begging him to watch movies just so that I can hear myself think.

Upon noticing a dearth of quotes from Caleb in my collection, I initially felt kind of bad for not recording more things he's said. but I actually think it's a reflection of the fact that he generally spends less time gabbing away than his brothers do. Caleb is probably the most introverted one of the bunch, and spends much more time drawing than the other two do. He continues to mass-produce drawings on a daily basis, his current obsessions being gingerbread men being chased by foxes, as well as snowmen assuming different occupational roles, such as a cowboy snowman or a policeman snowman.

Moses has followed Caleb's lead and has actually shown himself to be a pretty decent artist. He has drawn things like faces, horses, and skull-and-crossbones that are surprisingly recognizable, considering they were created by a two-year-old. Moses is also eager to emulate his big brothers' writing skills and has even written the word "MIMI" although I don't think he knew what he was writing. His favorite letters to write are "H", "I", "M", "O" and "E". He doesn't seem interested in writing his name, but I guess I can't blame him since those "S"s are pretty daunting. He also insists that his name is spelled "M-O-E-S". Moses has a stubborn streak and trying to convince him that he's wrong is usually a futile effort.

Unfortunately, Moses also seems to think it's his job to correct his friends and tell them they're doing everything the wrong way. After living in the shadows of two older brothers for his entire life, I guess he's realized that preschool is his long-awaited opportunity to be the boss, even though he's actually one of the youngest kids in his class. Even though I have been horrified to witness this behavior on more than one occasion at school and at play dates, the other children thankfully don't seem to mind Moses' bossy nature, and he is never at a loss for friends who want to play with him.

Unlike his bossy little brother, Joshua is most focused on discussing the virtues of kindness and striving to be a "model student." We've been amused to witness the inclusion of phrases such as "that was so kind of you" and "I am very impressed" into his everyday speech. And Joshua not only talks the talk, but he also (usually) walks the walk. It is no wonder that his classmate Hanna told him today that she is going to marry him! Joshua is also becoming a more confident reader and writer. The other day when I was volunteering in his classroom, he wrote the following narrative: "The snowman wus shivrring. He wus so so cod." Translation: "The snowman was shivering. He was so, so cold." It's cute to see that Joshua writes the same way he talks. I was also pleased to see that he finished his assignment early and had plenty of time for free play afterwards. During the first couple months of school, when the children's task had been to write a letter of the alphabet several dozen times and then color, cut, and glue a worksheet pertaining to that letter, Joshua would drag it out and barely finish the assignment in time to head to lunch. Clearly, he is much more motivated to do creative work, and understandably so.

The boys are very excited about the impending arrival of Christmas in a few days. Ever since we put up our Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving, Joshua has regularly proclaimed, "this will be the best Christmas ever!" Even though we've reminded the boys over and over again that Santa Claus is just a character, they still seem to partially believe that he really will come down our chimney and bring them presents. This doesn't bother me, it's actually kind of endearing, and at least they'll never be able to claim that we lied to them. Trying to keep Christ in Christmas has been more of a challenge this year than in years past, since the twins' public school Kindergarten curriculum would lead one to believe that gingerbread houses and gingerbread men are the centerpiece of what should be a celebration of our Savior's birth. I suppose it could be worse; at least the boys have come home with Christmas tree crafts and a lesson about the Dutch tradition of leaving shoes out for Saint Nicholas to fill. And this past weekend, all three boys bravely stood in front of the congregation and sang about Baby Jesus in our church's newly-formed children's choir: "What did the donkey at the manger say, to Baby Jesus in the hay? Hee haw, hee haw, Baby Jesus we love you."

Happy 6th Birthday, Caleb and Joshua!

The twins are 6! On their birthday, they took Rice Krispies treats to school to share with their classmates, then that evening we had spaghetti and cake at Mimi and Papa's house, and the boys (including Moses) each got a rifle gun that they'd had their eyes on since they first noticed them at the Mount Vernon gift shop this past summer. Then on Saturday we threw the boys a pirate party with a dozen of their friends. Joe even dressed up like a pirate: he grew out his beard, wore a pirate wig that we found at the Variety Store, and stuck a toy machete in a colorful sash that he tied around his waist. Several of the boys' moms, including our friend Leah who has known Joe for several years now, thought that we had hired a "real" pirate! All of the boys had a blast digging for "treasure" in the turtle sandbox, "walking the plank", jumping on the trampoline, eating pizza, and play fighting with the boys' toy guns and swords.

Now that the boys are 6 years old, they are making progress along the road to self-sufficiency. They are finally wiping their own butts, although they still refuse to go #2 at school. In fact, a few weeks ago I got a call from the school nurse because Joshua was in the clinic, doubled over in stomach pain, refusing to use the bathroom. Before I could get to the school, the nurse called back to say that he finally went to the bathroom and was feeling better. Joshua, however, maintains that he never did poop at school, but that his tummy felt better because Jesus healed him.

In other areas of self-sufficiency, the boys can climb up on the counter, get a glass from the cupboard, and pour themselves a glass of milk or water. Heck, even 2-year-old Moses has started doing this. Caleb will often pour me a tall glass of water and bring it to me, unprompted, while I'm sitting at the computer or folding laundry. He is very sweet. He also likes to draw pictures and give them to us as gifts. Joshua is a sweet boy, too. He's always showing us affection and telling us things like, "I just love giving you hugs and kisses!"

I met with the twins' teachers for their first elementary school parent-teacher conferences last week, too. Both boys did very well on their first standardized test that is issued to all Kindergarteners in the state of Virginia. They both passed the Spring benchmark, which means that they already have all the skills and knowledge that they're expected to have before they finish Kindergarten. Granted, they attend one of the more competitive schools in one of the best public school systems in the nation, so I'm sure that most of their classmates did just as well if not better, and the teachers have accelerated the curriculum accordingly. If I remember correctly, Joshua scored a 182, Caleb scored a 178, and the Spring benchmark is 177.

Caleb actually could have scored higher, but he didn't give a single correct answer in the rhyming section. I could have sworn that he's known how to rhyme for a while now, so when I got home from the conference, I asked him to tell me something that rhymes, and of course he immediately rattled off a long list rhyming words. I suspect that Caleb simply did not understand what was being asked of him during this particular section of the test. After all, one of the items that was originally on his IEP was difficulty with "receptive language," or understanding what is being spoken to you. I will need to follow up with his teacher and make sure that she is aware of this. I really think that he has a very good teacher, but in a class full of 25 energetic kids, I can see how it would be very easy for a detail like that to slip through the cracks. Joshua's class is smaller with only 20 kids, and they have the added benefit of having a special ed teacher in the classroom for much of the day. So in addition to having fewer classroom distractions, Joshua gets a lot more one-on-one time than Caleb does. I am confident that Caleb will thrive nevertheless. His teacher said he is such a sweet, good boy and that he is trying very hard. Joshua's teacher told me that he is very sweet and kind, and his special ed teacher said that she thinks he's actually very smart. As a mom, you can't ask for better reports than those!

And now for a few quotes:

Joshua: "I guess I am the onliest boy who is listening and putting on my shoes!"

Moses: "Daddy! Mommy is not paying attention to me!"

Me: "Caleb, get your backpack!"
(Caleb completely ignores me and keeps walking while Moses puts on Caleb's backpack.)
Me: "Moses, thank you for bringing Caleb's backpack inside."
Moses: "Yes, because Caleb is not paying attention."

Moses, observing 2 egg yolks in a mixing bowl: "It's like a butt!"

McMoses' Healthy Halloween

Moses has developed a strange habit of substituting the first syllable of certain words with "Mc". For example, he consistently makes the following adjustments:

McPuter = Computer
McTar = Guitar
McBrella = Umbrella

I'm pretty sure that he knows the correct pronunciations, but he still insists on saying things this way. Maybe it's his Irish heritage manifesting itself... and the only apparent manifestation of it, at that!

In other news, the boys are very excited about Halloween and going trick-or-treating tonight. The twins have been learning a lot of Halloween songs in music class at school, which they in turn teach to Moses. The other day I heard Moses singing his own rendition of a classic. I think I like his version better:

"Trick or treat, trick or treat, give me something good for me."

That's my boy!

Imaginative Moses

Moses has quite an active imagination, and it has blossomed all the more now that his big brothers are away at school all day. Whereas he previously relied heavily on his brothers for entertainment, he is now content to play with animal figurines, blocks, cars, and Legos all by himself for extended periods of time, quietly creating dialogues and singing to himself as he plays. Since the twins always had each other to play with, I suppose they were never required to plumb the depths of their imaginations to the same degree that Moses has. That's not to say they were completely unimaginative, it's just that they almost always collaborated with each other, such as when they used to pretend to be a mother monkey and a baby monkey. Moses also enjoys pretending to be different animals, such as the other day when he walked into the kitchen wearing gloves on his feet, and when I asked him why, he told me, "I am an ostrich and I have ostrich feet."

One way that Moses' imagination is manifesting itself is through telling lies, and convincing ones, at that. A couple weeks ago as we were getting ready to sit down to eat dinner, I noticed that Moses had taken off his jacket, so I asked him why. He replied, "Daddy told me to take my jacket off so that I won't spill macaroni on it." While it seemed like a somewhat reasonable explanation, I was mildly perturbed to hear that Joe had told him to remove layers considering how cold it was inside the house. And besides, macaroni and cheese wasn't much of a stain threat to his navy blue jacket. Baffled by Joe's logic, I asked him if he'd indeed told Moses to take his jacket off so that he wouldn't spill macaroni and cheese on it. And what do you know, he hadn't.

Moses also claims to have vivid dreams every night about horses racing. He tells us that he dreams about thoroughbreds, Asian wild horses, the white horse of the sea, and fallabellas. Speaking of dreaming, the other day while Moses and I were surveying the pumpkins on our front steps, he provided me with the following analysis. Pointing to the three large pumpkins, he said, "That's the mommy pumpkin, and the daddy pumpkin is a little bigger. And here's Moses. He's a big boy pumpkin." Then, pointing to a couple of the smaller pumpkins, he said, "And here's his brothers. They are babies." So much for being the humblest man on the face of the Earth!

Prolific Caleb

Caleb has blossomed into a prolific artist. The first thing he does when he wakes up in the morning is make a beeline to the dining room table, not to eat breakfast, but to commence a drawing of whatever happens to be his subject of choice for the week. Likewise, the first thing he does when he comes home from school on most days is situate himself at the table with a piece of paper and a bucket of markers. You would think he'd be tired of sitting and drawing after being at school all day, but apparently not. Joshua, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with sitting and drawing during after-school hours. He would rather run around the house for a while before settling into the couch with his latest library book.

I first noticed Caleb's trend toward the end of the summer when he became obsessed with drawing David and Goliath: pages upon pages of pictures of David with his sling facing off with Goliath with his sword. Some time later, he started drawing cars: lots of cars, complete with details such as headlights and spirals of exhaust spewing out the back. From there, he progressed on to pumpkins: jack-o-lanterns with varying shaped eyes, noses, and mouths. Next came pirate ships, influenced by our voyage on a pirate ship in Baltimore. And Caleb's most recent subject matter has been the owl, his school's mascot. Specifically, he draws an owl slightly hovering above the branch of a tree, almost always slightly tilting to the left, with a crescent moon in the upper right corner and a black night sky in the background.

It's fascinating how consistent Caleb is, with only slight variations in each piece from each series, not much unlike how a real artist operates. Indeed, of the many printmaking works I created in college, there are quite a few series of a common image with only slight variations among the members of each set. Caleb demonstrates the perfectionist tendencies of an artist, too. If he accidentally colors outside one of the lines he draws, he launches into a fit of consternation, dramatically discarding the ruined piece aside and starting over on a clean slate.

A few quotes:

"Caleb, it's not good to talk to your friends like that. Only Mommy can talk like that." - Joshua

"Oh, come on Caleb, don't be sad. Let's get busy. I like to play trains with you." - Joshua

"He is really evil and not a good student and is absolutely bad." -Joshua, commenting on someone's scary Halloween decoration.

Woman, talking to the twins: "How old are you?"
Caleb and Joshua: *no response*
Moses: "They are 5 and I am 2."

"I love green, and brown is my favorite color, too, because I am brown." - Moses

"Those two squirrels are friends, like me and Desmond." -Moses, while watching two squirrels chase and play with each other

"Look, mom, it's a silent color." -Moses, while applying very light pressure to the crayon while drawing.

Twin in the Mirror

This afternoon I took Caleb and Moses to Target while Joshua went to a play date at his classmate Owen's house. Caleb was upset that he didn't have a play date to attend, and decided that retail therapy would be the best cure for his blues. While walking through the shoe department, Caleb did a double-take as he strode past a full-length mirror. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Oh, I thought that I saw Joshua but it was just me," he replied, smiling sheepishly. Only an identical twin could have that sort of problem!

It was also touching because I could tell that Caleb genuinely missed his twin. Their teachers have told me, and I've seen for myself while volunteering in the cafeteria at lunchtime, that they will call out to each other and wave happily whenever they see each other during the school day. I suppose that having them in separate classrooms is best for the development of their own individual identities, but sometimes it breaks my heart when I realize how much they cherish their unique bond.

Moses, on the other hand, announced to me this afternoon that he did not miss his brothers at all today. Every other day since Kindergarten started, Moses has asked me, "Where are my brothers?" or "I miss my brothers. Shall we go get them now?" I guess today I somehow managed to keep him well-enough distracted with preschool and errands. It's not an easy job, though, and I'm beginning to realize the significant role that the twins had in raising their baby brother these first two and a half years of his life. I've got to give them their fair share of credit for how well Moses has turned out!

The Kindergarten Conundrum

September was a month of new beginnings, with the twins starting Kindergarten and Moses starting preschool. I am thankful to report that all three boys are thoroughly enjoying school. When the county decided to close schools on the fourth day of school on account of inclement weather, the boys were disappointed. The following Friday, when I told the boys that they wouldn't have to go to school for the next two days, Joshua exclaimed, "Oh no, but I'll miss school!" When I went to pick up Moses after his second day of preschool, he scowled at me and told me to go away. I suppose his classmates provide him with greater entertainment value than I do.

That said, I don't think I've been this exhausted since I had a newborn. Escorting three kids to and from two different schools, packing nutritious lunches, entertaining Moses in the absence of his brothers, and volunteering in three different classrooms have all proved to be quite exhausting. Meanwhile, multiple home improvement tasks are looming over our heads, dinner needs to be cooked and cleaned up after, the boys manage to make just as much mess in the few hours they're home in the evening as they did when they were home all day long (such as when they decided to paint their pumpkins with black paint yesterday), Joe has been working ridiculously long hours, and the bunnies keep pooping and trying to escape their porch prison. Every afternoon at around two clock, there is nothing I'd rather do than take a nap, but my non-napping 2-year-old always has other plans for me, such as pretending to be the bad guy that he repeatedly strikes down with a sword, or helping him build a barn for his horse. And to think that I had people asking me what I would do with all of my free time now that the twins would be in school all day!

Anyway, here are some things we've been hearing lately...

"Good eye, Mom. Good eye." -Joshua's trademark way of saying "Good idea, Mom. Good idea."

"Normally my mother pushes me four times." -Moses, letting his preschool teacher know that he was not satisfied with a mere three pushes on the swing.

"My butt swallowed the poop so that you wouldn't have to smell it." -Joshua, explaining why he didn't finish his business in the same bathroom in which I was taking a shower.

"Look, I'm a bunny." -Joshua, showing me the big fluffy wad of toilet paper stuck in his butt.

Me: "Don't go out in the front yard all by yourself. It's getting dark outside and you never know when there might be bad guys around."
Joshua: "Don't worry, Mom, I'll take my gun."
Me: "But your gun isn't real."
Joshua: "I know that bullets won't come out, but the bad guys will still see my gun and be afraid."

"Let's make a jack-o-lantern with triangle eyes, a square nose, and a banana mouth." - Caleb

Joe: "This horse is a Selle Francais."
Moses: "No! That's a thoroughbred!"
Joe: "No, it says it's a Selle Francais."
Moses, crying: "NO! THOROUGHBRED!"
Me: "I told him it was a thoroughbred because I didn't know how to pronounce Selle Francais."
Joe: "Ok, you're right, Moses, it's a thoroughbred."

Moses: "Let's pray."
Me: "But we already prayed. We can go ahead and eat."
Moses: "No, we need to pray again!"
Me: "Why?"
Moses: "My food is still too hot!"

"Daddy, first you need to move the snowman mug, and then you can get your cup out." -Moses, directing Joe on the best way to take a particular cup out of the cupboard.

"Mommy, I just washing my hands because I touched the bunnies. I washing Thomas, too. He is so clean now, shall you feel him?" -Moses

Photos and Weapons in Heaven

The following conversation took place today at breakfast:

Caleb: "When we get to Heaven, I will stand next to Caleb and Mommy will take a picture of me, ok, Mommy?"
Moses: "And I will stand next to Aaron!"
Me: "But remember, I won't have my camera because we can't take stuff with us to Heaven. We can only take our souls."
Joshua, excitedly: "Our swords?!"
Me: "No, you know... Our spirits."
Joshua, even more excited: "Our spears?!"

Shall

These days, Moses prefaces most of his suggestions and requests with "shall." I'm not sure where he picked it up, but it's kind of endearing. Here are a few examples:

Moses: "Mommy, shall you get some unna-wears for me? I naked."
Me: "OK, I'll get you some underwear."
Moses: "But no pantses. Only unna-wears, ok?"

Moses: "Mommy, shall I have some honey on my bread?"
Me: "No, you already have jam. You don't need honey, too."
Moses: "But jam is not my best friend. I need some honey, ok?"

Moses: "Are those birds bad guys?"
Me: "I guess so."
Moses: "Shall we shoot them?"