Saturday, June 6, 2009

Turning Point?

The other night I experienced a parental breakthrough of sorts with Caleb. When Caleb really wants something, such as help for putting on a pair of mismatched socks or for playing his favorite computer game, he'll incessantly ask for it. First he'll just repeat his request over and over ("want this"..."want this"). After a while, this will escalate to whining ("want THiiiiis" "waaaant thiiiiiiis") and eventually to angered demands ("WANT this! WANT thiiiis!"). Upon reaching this phase we'll discipline him in some manner and he'll cry for a while, and not uncommonly return to the begging phase or get distracted by something else.

In this particular case, Caleb really wanted a lollipop. I kept denying him, and assured him that he could have one tomorrow, but not any more today. Of course, he continued begging until it escalated to the tantrum point, so I picked him up and put him in his bed; I told him that he was too tired to behave well. In the darkness of his room Caleb began to calm down. "Want water?" he asked, sobbing. Thinking that he was probably going to fall asleep soon, I said "sure", and I brought him some water from the kitchen. As he was drinking it, he stopped crying altogether and said "I'm sorry, Daddy. We'll have lollipop later--we'll have lollipop in a couple weeks." And then he leaned over onto my lap for a hug.

It was a sweet gesture, but more importantly, I think it's the first time that Caleb willfully accepted a "no."

Also, for the record, "a couple weeks" is what the boys regard as some unspecific time in the future. If something's not happening today or tomorrow, then it's happening in a couple of weeks.

1 comment:

  1. Aww,sweet Caleb! And just for the record, they were organic lollipops used as incentives to try to get him to poop on the potty... we really don't let our kids OD on sugar, I promise! :)

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