Today the boys and I and the rest of Northern Virginia invaded Wegman's in preparation for the impending blizzard. It was only my second time at Wegman's and since the store was so crowded and chaotic, I decided it'd be best to put all three boys in the cart. I put Moses and Caleb in the upper seat and Joshua sat in the main compartment. This of course left very little room for actual groceries, and we were the subject of quite a few stares. As usual, I got many comments about having my "hands full". One lady said, "wow, you've certainly got stair steps" and I told her that they technically aren't since two of them are twins. "Oh, these two?" she asked, pointing to Caleb and Moses. I know that Moses is a little big for his age, but seriously? And of course the conversation couldn't end before she told me that her daughters were born 17 months apart, which, according to her, "was just like having twins".
The funny thing is that I hear this sort of thing all the time: "my babies were x months apart, which was even harder than having twins" or "my wife had our kids the hard way- one at a time". Yes, people have actually said these things to me. Now, I am completely in awe of parents of triplets and higher order multiples, and I would never dream of telling a triplet mom that having twins and a singleton is just like having triplets. I'm sure the lady at Wegman's meant well and was just trying to make friendly conversation, but unless her 17-month-old was nursing, pooping, crying, and spitting up all night long alongside her newborn, I think it's safe to assume that her experience was nothing like having twins!
I can't believe she thought Moses was his twin (unless she was kidding of course). Maybe people are thinking about the fact that their child had a playmate growing up and thinking that's like having twins. I remember being a nanny for triplets...and I'd babysat three kids close in age..I would never compare the experiences. I remember telling my mom that the hard thing about it was that they were all at the same developmental stage, which made it hard to care for one while another needed the same exact care. I don't even know what it's like to be a mother of multiples..just a nanny of triplets and it definitely wasn't anything like caring for kids close in age.
ReplyDeleteLOL someone thought Moses was 4?! I am constantly amused by what strangers in the supermarket say! I can't believe anyone would think being pregnant with twins is the easy way to have 2 (figures a man would say that!), nor that raising kids closely spaced is like raising twins. I can't tell you how many times in the last 7 months I've stopped and thought, wow, I feel like I have my hands full, but Katie did this with 2! You have my respect!
ReplyDeleteBecca- maybe your experience being a nanny to triplets was preparation for being a mother of multiples someday! I babysat two sets of twins, and the other babysitter of one of those sets of twins also went on to have twins of her own! It's apparently contagious ;)
ReplyDeleteSarah- yeah, I was so stunned I didn't know what to say back to him! It was when the twins were still babies, too, so I was running on little to no sleep and the disappointment of my birth not going according to plan was still fresh. Silly man!
people say the most ridiculous things. "one at a time" is the hard way? are you KIDDING me? sigh. i think a lot of people like to make their own experience seem like the toughest. i promise that i will NEVER try to compare having one kid to twins. in fact, whenever i thought, blah, this is really hard, i just thought about you and joe parenting twins. you lived to tell the tale and are now parenting three! i still don't know how you do it, but you are a role model for sure.
ReplyDeleteYou all are too kind. Di, I'm definitely not a role model! Spend one day with me and my 3-ring-circus and you'll realize that pretty quickly :) I think that as moms we all face different challenges... for instance, I am in awe of single moms, military wives whose husbands are stationed overseas, moms of children with disabilities or health concerns, and even moms who don't have the support of extended family nearby. And I wouldn't dare try to compare my plight to someone else's unless I've walked a mile in their shoes. I guess that's why the grocery store commentators never cease to astound me!
ReplyDeleteBut Katie you always make it look so easy!!
ReplyDeleteI love the snow pictures!